Improving living conditions within society is a far superior approach to crime prevention than threat of punishment. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

#conditions #society #approach #crime #prevention #threat #punishment

Creating better conditions for life is a more effective way for reducing crime than big sanctions for

people

. In

this

essay, I am going to discuss

Change preposition

apply

show examples

both options and explain why I agree with the

first

. In favour agreement, that

people

, who have enough money for being happy, are calmer and glader

then

Correct your spelling

than

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the poor and those who are under

strees

Correct your spelling

stress

very often I can say that

community

Correct article usage

a community

show examples

with

high

Add an article

a high

the high

show examples

level of life want to develop and create something useful,

hence

this

they do not need to risk their money.

Moreover

, they

appriciate

Correct your spelling

appreciate

their own freedom and respect

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the opinion

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opinion

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opinions

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of others. More likely it is connected with

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apply

show examples

education and upbringing,

for instance

, Island has

perfect

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a perfect

show examples

kindergarden

Correct your spelling

kindergarten

and

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

high level

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high-level

show examples

university

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of university

show examples

where students feel free and confident and

this

country leads as the most safety place from over the world.

On the other hand

people

must realize that every criminal activity will be punished,

that

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which

show examples

should ensure

lessening

Correct article usage

the lessening

show examples

of crime. Apparently, it is not so productive, because they have some problems and do not have tackling of them.

In addition

, under fear citizens can think that some scam or another crime can be the single option for solving their own problems.

For example

, powers in Russia create a lot of punishments for

people

, who decided to lie to the government about their

ligal

Correct your spelling

legal

salary, because

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

people

need to save

such

quantity of cash as could help them to buy food.

However

, many needed to pay

Add an article

a fee

the fee

show examples

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

, because tax

service

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services

show examples

found almost everybody. To sum up,contrary to threating of punishments for society righter approach is improving

life

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living

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conditions.

Hence

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

, the better

people

fell

Correct your spelling

feel

show examples

, the

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

there are crimes.

Submitted by alex.i.leontev on Thu Dec 08 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Improving living conditions within society is a far superior approach to crime prevention than threat of punishment. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Life in many cities around the world is becoming so expensive that one day only rich people will be able to live there. What are the causes of this situation? What measures could be taken to solve the problem?

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

Schools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Others think it is the parent's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?