IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, think there are better alternative ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
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Criminal is always a big
threaten
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threat
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 to every national security. Compare to the past, nowadays, the number of
crime
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crimes
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 kept
increase
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increasing
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 day by day. That makes some
people
Use synonyms
 think the best way to reduce crime is to give
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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longer
prison
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
sentences
Fix the agreement mistake
sentence
show examples
 to warn the
other
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others
show examples
. But some
people
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 think there are lots of better ways, not just
prison
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sentences
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. So which one is better? Let’s take a look!
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Prison
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A prison
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 is a place that makes
people
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 think about
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 mistakes, a place
that
Correct word choice
where
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 no one
want
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wants
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 to live because of the facilities and the domination of jailer. So,
a stiff
Correct the article-noun agreement
stiff prison sentences
a stiff prison sentence
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prison
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sentences
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 can make things happen. Life in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
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 is the worst life a person could ever have. So they would try to have a good re-educate, and they could end their
punishment
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 earlier. After
then
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,
almost
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most
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prisoner
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prisoners
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 will try not to break any
law
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, so they don’t have to go back to jail again. But there are some
law
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-breakers
still
Correct pronoun usage
who still
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 live outside the
law
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 after jail, so
prison
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sentences
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 are not the right
punishment
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 for them anymore. For
this
Linking Words
 reason,
people
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 think that there
are
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is
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more
Change the word
apply
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better
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punishment
Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
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 that could help. Education is a clear
ways
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way
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.
People
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 should be taught about laws,
policies
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and policies
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, improve
the
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their
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 awareness about laws and the impact of those bad actions like it could affect
to
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apply
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the others like their
family
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families
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, their friends, etc.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we should give a higher living standard,
an
Correct word choice
and an
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 easy
invironment
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environment
 to live
so
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in so
show examples
 the number of
crime
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crimes
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 could reduce. The government
also
Linking Words
 should have policies to help the unemployed, especially after their
punishment
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, so that they could feel easy to live and would not break the
law
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 again. In conclusion, every
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sentences
Change to a singular noun
sentence
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 have its own advantage and disadvantage. The court
have
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has
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 to give an appropriate
punishment
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with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each guilty person so that they could realize that their actions
is
Change the verb form
are
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 sinful and will not make it again.
That is
Linking Words
 when
Use synonyms
law
Add an article
the law
a law
show examples
 is right.
Submitted by shynlee01 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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