Some people think the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, think there are better alternative ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
think the best way to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
is to give longer
prison
Use synonyms
sentences
Use synonyms
. Others,
however
Linking Words
, think there are better alternative ways to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. On the one hand, many
people
Use synonyms
believe that by giving longer
prison
Use synonyms
sentences
Use synonyms
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
of a country can reduce its national
crime
Use synonyms
rate.
This
Linking Words
is because they state the approach may act as a deterrent which can discourage would-be criminals or
people
Use synonyms
who want to break the law. I can sympathize
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
the idea that it can create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
psychological effect for
people
Use synonyms
who are going to break the law because they
donnot
Correct your spelling
don't
want to lose their own freedom or spend a part of their life in
prison
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
many circumstances,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petty crimes tend not to be threatened by
this
Linking Words
sentence because the roots of offences are
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of social
welfares
Fix the agreement mistake
welfare
show examples
which
haven’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
hasn’t
show examples
supported the poor or homeless
people
Use synonyms
so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
these
kinds
Use synonyms
of
people
Use synonyms
have no more choices than do illegal jobs for living, which is a reason why they become extremists. It’s hard for the polices to address all of
petty
Add an article
the petty
show examples
crimes which are not
suppose
Wrong verb form
supposed
show examples
to be imprisoned because of their huge rate.
In addition
Linking Words
, when these
kinds
Use synonyms
of
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
get used to with
structure
Correct article usage
the structure
show examples
of the
prison
Use synonyms
, they tend to connect with other inmates in order to
buil
Correct your spelling
build
a network. Their cooperation can cause more serious
crime
Use synonyms
offenders after they have been released back
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. For
instace
Correct your spelling
instance
, in our country, the
prison
Use synonyms
sentences
Use synonyms
for drug criminals are very heavy up to life, it can generally still be psychological for ordinary
people
Use synonyms
who do not commit
this
Linking Words
crime
Use synonyms
but the professional drug trafficking system is still raging and more sophisticated because the seniors created their networks in
prison
Use synonyms
. I firmly believe there are more efficient methods to reduce
criminal
Replace the word
crime
show examples
rates rather than increase imprisonment time.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
system,
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
should be taught about laws,
policies
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
impact of bad actions
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
others including their relatives, friends, etc, which can spread out and improve
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
illeracy
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
about how to achieve law.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the Government need to improve awareness about
negative
Add an article
the negative
show examples
effect when breaking the laws by some solutions
such
Linking Words
as
propagandize
Wrong verb form
propagandising
show examples
the typical
sentences
Use synonyms
or real circumstances which are relevant to these
kinds
Use synonyms
of
sentences
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, social
wellfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
policies
Use synonyms
are
also
Linking Words
important for decreasing
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
rate so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
Gorvenment
Correct your spelling
Government
needs to improve living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
by having some
policies
Use synonyms
about
support
Change the verb form
supporting
show examples
poor
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
,
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
them use public
sevice
Correct your spelling
service
without paying any kind of fee,
free
Correct word choice
and free
show examples
of charge in vocational education, …. These
policies
Use synonyms
could use for
people
Use synonyms
who have finished serving their
sentences
Use synonyms
in order to help them with social integration. In conclusion, some
kinds
Use synonyms
of
altenative
Correct your spelling
alternative
sentences
Use synonyms
are more useful than longer imprisonment
sentences
Use synonyms
but these ones
also
Linking Words
take the Government more time to change and make all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
policies
Add an article
the policies
show examples
become suitable.
Submitted by shynlee01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: