IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Prison is the best way to punish criminals. Give your opinion.

#prison #criminals
It is predicted that prison is the best way to make lawbreakers reconsider what they have done and discipline them fully and adequately. Personally, I would argue that it is not effective for two main reasons. The major reason why I think jails will not help punish those who commit crimes is not enough rigid.
In other words
, for some illegal
actions
Add a comma
,actions
show examples
 the rules for prisoners are not strict and it is uncomplicated to escape the place.
For instance
, if the prisoner's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is appropriate,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 and attention
declines
Change the verb form
decline
show examples
,
thus
 it increases the possibility to make a plan to overcome the security in every country,
either
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 it is the US or Kazakhstan.
As a result
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison is not an
obsticle
Correct your spelling
obstacle
 for criminal activity of people and it does not change their actions. Another reason is argued to be not any change in people's mindset.
That is
 to say, there are several problems why individuals break the law including mental issues which means that after they are released to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom they are not healed. To illustrate, serial killers or burglars,
consequently
, steal or murder again since they
are still have
Change the verb form
still have
show examples
 either disabilities or a lack of money.
This
 is the problem because some cases are much more daunting and complex than they seem to be and going to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison does not punish them as it is intended to do. In conclusion,
although
 some may disagree, I am of the opinion that there are better ways than keeping people in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jail
cell
Fix the agreement mistake
cells
show examples
 due to the fact that it might not be successful and helpful.
Submitted by diana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: