Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Many
museums
require fees for entry, while
others are free. I believe the advantages of charging people
for admission to museums
outweigh the disadvantages. Because without an entry fee
they would not earn profit for the maintenance of Add a comma
fee,
museums
. s On the one hand, admission fees allow the museums
to protect the collections of museums
. By collecting the revenue, it can be used for the preservation of the museum. This
income can also
be used for the renovation of the museums
. Mainly these museums
are funded by government sectors,Correct pronoun usage
which
this
can lead to the
shortage of money. So, Correct article usage
a
by
charging admission fees could be beneficial for the payment of Change preposition
apply
salary
of employees Correct article usage
the salary
those
who are working there. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, while
comparing many museums
, who
collect entry Correct pronoun usage
those that
fee
are far more maintained and cleaner than those Fix the agreement mistake
fees
who
do not chargeCorrect pronoun usage
that
for
Change preposition
apply
fee
. Fix the agreement mistake
fees
On the other hand
, allowing entrance fee
will demotivate Fix the agreement mistake
fees
people
who are from low-income background
. Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
Subsequently
they cannot be able to access free knowledge and information about cultural heritage. Add a comma
Subsequently,
However
, most of the people
are
not there to treasure the exhibits but came to experience the free services. Wrong verb form
were
Furthermore
, crowded people
can be noisier and might also
damage some exhibits. In conclusion, preservation
of exhibits is prioritized more as it could have valuable things from the past, Correct article usage
the preservation
for
Correct word choice
and for
this
they need profit. This
will improve the economy and can maintain the museum in a good way.Submitted by jackjohn0590 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion