Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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Many
museums
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require fees for entry,
while
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others are free. I believe the advantages of charging
people
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for admission to
museums
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outweigh the disadvantages. Because without an entry
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fee
Add a comma
fee,
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they would not earn profit for the maintenance of
museums
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. s On the one hand, admission fees allow the
museums
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to protect the collections of
museums
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. By collecting the revenue, it can be used for the preservation of the museum.
This
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income can
also
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be used for the renovation of the
museums
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. Mainly these
museums
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are funded by government sectors,
Correct pronoun usage
which
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this
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can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
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shortage of money. So,
by
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apply
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charging admission fees could be beneficial for the payment of
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
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of employees
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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who are working there.
For instance
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,
while
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comparing many
museums
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,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those that
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collect entry
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fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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are far more maintained and cleaner than those
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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do not charge
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, allowing entrance
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fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
will demotivate
people
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who are from low-income
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
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.
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Subsequently
Add a comma
Subsequently,
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they cannot be able to access free knowledge and information about cultural heritage.
However
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, most of the
people
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are
Wrong verb form
were
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not there to treasure the exhibits but came to experience the free services.
Furthermore
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, crowded
people
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can be noisier and might
also
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damage some exhibits. In conclusion,
preservation
Correct article usage
the preservation
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of exhibits is prioritized more as it could have valuable things from the past,
for
Correct word choice
and for
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this
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they need profit.
This
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will improve the economy and can maintain the museum in a good way.
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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