Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some adopt the view that it is ideal to accept a bad situation,
such
as job dissatisfaction or a tiny budget,
while
others think that making an effort and improving
such
a situation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
better. Both views of
this
argument will be discussed in the essay before my view on
this
matter is drawn in the end. On the one hand, there are some reasons why it is better to accept a bad situation.
Firstly
, acceptance of difficult circumstances can lead to contentment.
For example
, extroverted
people
have a tendency to pacify themselves whenever they encounter setbacks. By doing
this
, they would be able to push through the ranks and move forward.
Secondly
, by accepting adversity,
people
could
Wrong verb form
can
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stay away from stress and pressure. In fact, there are several potential risks if
people
try to change their fate,
such
as failure, disappointment, and even cognitive diseases.
Therefore
, dealing with reality sometimes would be beneficial.
On the other hand
, it is understandable why individuals make an effort to enhance their disadvantages.
To begin
with, it is noticeable that endurance
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
adverse situations is a way to develop resilience and character.
For instance
, Nick Vujiik had overcome his disability to become a well-known influencer around the world.
Additionally
, improving difficult circumstances would bring several benefits to society, like innovation and progress in the long run, because, as it goes without saying "
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
necessity is the mother of invention". In conclusion, I strongly believe that both views of the essay should be taken into account equally.
People
would achieve their goals if they knew when to accept
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aversity
Correct your spelling
adversity
diversity
and when to try to change the underprivileged conditions.
Submitted by hongmien.n on

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task achievement
In the introduction, slightly more detail could be provided to make the topic clearer. For example, expanding on what you mean by 'such a situation' could provide better clarity to the reader.
coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence, consider using more explicit transitions between your points. Although your essay flows well, more transitional phrases can enhance the reader's understanding of your argument progression.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are logically structured, but using more linking words and phrases between sentences, such as ‘moreover,’ ‘furthermore,’ and ‘in addition,’ could improve the cohesion of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured essay.
task achievement
The arguments on both sides are well-presented, with relevant examples. This helps in demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have done a good job in providing specific examples, such as Nick Vujicic, which reinforces your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contentment
  • Resilience
  • Personal growth
  • Endurance
  • Initiative
  • Advancement
  • Catalyst
  • Financial stability
  • Status quo
  • Innovation
  • Missed opportunities
  • Life satisfaction
  • Adverse situations
  • Taking control
  • Risk assessment
  • Change management
  • Self-improvement
  • Motivation
  • Stagnation
  • Proactivity
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