IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that money spend on technology development for space exploration is unjustified. They believe there are other beneficial ways to spend it. To what you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some
people
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 argue that spending large amounts of money on
space
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exploration
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 is unnecessary and that these financial resources should
instead
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 be used to address more urgent problems on Earth.
While
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 I acknowledge that governments have many important domestic responsibilities, I disagree with
this
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 view because investment in
space
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technology
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 generates long-term scientific, economic and social benefits. Those who oppose
space
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exploration
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 believe that public funds should be directed towards pressing issues
such
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 as healthcare, education and poverty reduction. Millions of
people
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 around the world still lack access to quality medical services, clean drinking water and adequate housing.
Therefore
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, critics argue that it is difficult to justify spending billions of dollars on missions to
space
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 when many citizens struggle to meet their basic needs.
Moreover
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, improving public infrastructure and social welfare programmes may produce more immediate and visible benefits for society.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that investment in
space
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technology
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 is both worthwhile and necessary.
Firstly
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,
space
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 research has led to numerous technological innovations that improve everyday life. Many modern inventions, including satellite navigation, weather forecasting, communication systems and medical equipment, have been developed through
space
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 programmes. These technologies benefit millions of
people
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 and contribute to economic growth.
Secondly
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,
space
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exploration
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 expands scientific knowledge and helps humanity prepare for future challenges.
For example
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, monitoring climate change, predicting natural disasters and detecting potentially dangerous asteroids all depend on advanced
space
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technology
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. Without continued research, scientific progress would be significantly slowed. In my opinion, governments should adopt a balanced approach by investing in both
space
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exploration
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 and essential public services. Scientific advancement and social welfare should not be viewed as competing priorities because technological breakthroughs often provide long-term solutions to problems facing society. At the same time, governments must ensure that basic human needs are adequately addressed. In conclusion,
although
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 many
people
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 believe that money allocated to
space
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exploration
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 should
instead
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 be spent on urgent social issues, I disagree. Investment in
space
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technology
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 drives innovation, improves daily life and strengthens humanity's ability to respond to future global challenges.
Therefore
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, it remains a valuable and justified use of public funding.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give your opinion from the start. To reach a higher band, add one more very clear real example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are good, but some points are still general. You can explain one idea a little more deeply.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has a clear job. To improve, use a few more linking words with care so the flow feels even smoother.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas are in a good order. To get a higher score, make the link between the second and third body paragraphs a little more direct.
task response
For task response, you answer all parts of the question and keep your position clear all the way through the essay.
task response
For task response, you use good examples like health care, poverty, climate change, and dangerous asteroids.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a strong structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use simple linking words well, such as 'therefore', 'moreover', 'nevertheless', 'firstly', and 'secondly'.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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