Many children have become habitual about excessively using mobile applications day and night. why do you think is so ? What parents can do to avoid this situation declining further.

#children #applications #night #parents #situation

Children

are using their phones too much, I agree with it, and in

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

tell what I think about it, and I'

try to give some

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

Firstly

I want to tell

that

Correct pronoun usage

you that

show examples

, nowadays social

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

are very popular, like Instagram,Youtube,Facebook and others, so I think that

children

don'

speak

each

Change preposition

to each

show examples

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

too much.

Secondly

Add a comma

,Secondly

show examples

I think that

parents

are not as strict as their

parents

, so their

children

are spoiled, and they don'

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

their

parents

Thirdly

I think one of the main reasons is that

children

think that

stuck

Add a missing verb

being stuck

show examples

on the

phone

until the morning is in fashion and It's really horrible. And I want to give

Correct your spelling

advice

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

parents

, turn off

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

at night and take your child's

phone

with you, because nowadays there're

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

games

that doesn'

demand any internet, so they can play them. Or if you radically don'

want

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

your child

play

Fix the infinitive

to play

show examples

any

games

, I prefer you to delete all their

games

and ask them to delete any passwords to open their

phone

. Most kids try to lie

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

parents

, and it's really bad

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because you don'

know is your child telling true for you or again lying, after some

lies

Add a comma

,lies

show examples

you'

not trust your

kid

and there'

Correct your spelling

show examples

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

conflicts

with

Change preposition

between

show examples

your

kid

and you. So in a nutshell, trust your kids because it's really important for your relations. Try to turn off

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

at night, because your

kid

can stick his

phone

until morning. And at the end delete all

games

Change preposition

show examples

the

phone

Change preposition

apply

show examples

your

kid

Submitted by yokubjon_nurullaev on Sun Dec 11 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

258 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that leisure activities have to be complex to be amusing. However, this essay will disagree with the said statement. I believe that hobbies are chosen for their calming benefits as well as a necessity for not challenging activities in order to leave their routine.
4.5
band
Many people think that it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, a lot of individuals believe that using finances for helping animal species that are in danger, for example the tiger or the blue whale, is a waste of funds. While this may be accurate to some extent, I personally believe that we can use the money in other ways that would benefit society such as for the people in need and restructuring the country’s weaknesses that may be corruption, low salaries and poor arranged places.
5
band
some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. others think that the true function of university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. what, in your opinion, should be the main function of the university.
certain folks around the world argue that task understanding should be tough alongside learning programs in colleges while others believe that the main function of a university is to teach all recruitment in their own schedule, even if it is beneficial or not for an employer. From my point of view, universities' main goal should be teaching admission solely education. The impending essay will discuss both sides with a logical conclusion.
5
band
Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?
Some people believe that success is equivalent to the level of someone’s intellectual, whereas others argue others medium should be considered. In my view, the latter views should stand and I will elaborate further in the next paragraph.
5
band
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is certainly true that teacher in elementary school have a different way of teaching, this virtually depends on the general vision for each education system. So that, although some views believe that making a competition among students is very useful way of learning, others convinced that collaboration would work more effectively. This essay will discuss and give reasons to both side of view.

Many children have become habitual about excessively using mobile applications day and night. why do you think is so ? What parents can do to avoid this situation declining further.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.