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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people feel that entertainers are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #money #jobs
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In the present Era, the Entertainment industry is the most influential field in terms of monetary gains. Some
people
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 think that these
people
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 earn the most as compared to others. I agree with the opinion and feel that jobs which possess higher risks like Aviation, Mining, Army, Scientists and Doctors should be paid more. The reason behind my opinion is the extravagant money spent on celebrities.
For instance
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, singers and actors charge in crores for only one song or movie.
Although
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 I agree that acting or other associated fields involve hard work but earned revenue is more huge than investment.
As a result
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, they live a luxurious lifestyle in comparison to those who actually deserve it. The jobs which deserve to be paid high are Aviation, Doctors, Army and Mining because these fields are more likely to involve
people
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's lives than mere entertainers.
For example
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, if there is a threat to the Country like a pandemic or war, these are the ones who will serve the Country. During covid, floods or war, doctors and Army personnel saved us, not the entertainers. So, I hardly see any reason why performers should be earning more. To conclude, even though
this
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 industry plays an inevitable part in society, I believe that
people
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 who work for welfare and innovation should be paid more. Security and health come before entertainment that's why they should be entitled to more facilities than later.
Submitted by manjuganghas26 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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