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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #climate #change #effect #business #opportunities
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It is argued that
climate
change
 has disadvantages
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 business, yet the opponents consider it as a transformation for new business opportunities. In my opinion,
climate
change
 indeed creates a new future. on the one hand, people have to face the economic issue of
climate
change
.
Firstly
, increasing the cost of ingredients.
climate
change
 can cause difficulties in agriculture and lead to reduced output, so people need to spend more on buying ingredients.
in addition
, the unemployment rate rising. Many countries rely on national nature as their main income and
climate
change
 can destroy it.
As a result
, the tourism industry will come with the issue of the unemployment rate rising.
on the other hand
, I optimistically believe that it can bring positive development in some industries. First of all, the surge of biological
technology
. as natural resources cannot afford the market demands. in order to raise the productive efficiency of agriculture, it has to develop biological
technology
 to solve the demands.
Furthermore
, sustainable
energy
 is the new.
Climate
change
 means the disappearance of nature, currently the
energy
 we use comes from natural resources
such
 as gas. to provide sustainable
energy
 for human use,
Therefore
, sustainable
energy
 development
technology
 will naturally be improved. In conclusion,
although
climate
change
 hurts increasing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cost of ingredients and raising the unemployment rate, I believe optimistically that it will help humans develop new
technology
 for biological and sustainable
energy
.
Submitted by cuggikem on

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presentation
Ensure a consistent approach to capitalization, particularly at the beginning of sentences, to maintain formal essay writing standards.
content
Expand on your examples by providing more detailed explanations or evidence to strengthen your argument.
cohesion
Using transitional phrases effectively can enhance the flow of the essay. Consider varying your transitions to improve readability.
grammar
Be mindful of subject-verb agreements and other grammatical structures to enhance the clarity of your writing.
task response
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, showing clear understanding of the task.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
content support
You made an effort to provide specific examples to support your points, which enhances your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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