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Band 4

Answer the following question based on the theme Some people believe citizens should be allowed to carry handguns in order to protect themselves, while others think this can lead to many social security problems in the socity. What's your opinion?

#theme #people #citizens #handguns #security #socity
Some
people
 believe citizens should be allowed to convey
handguns
 in order to keep safe themselves, while others think
this
 can guide
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many communal security problems in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In my opinion, I think it is better not to carry
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a handgun
handguns
show examples
handguns
. Because
people
 might be afraid. Especially young
children
 are very afraid. I will put my thoughts into words in the forthcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, it's good to walk around. He can protect himself if any dangerous person comes or the enemies come. Should allow
people
 to carry
handguns
 for self-defence. It is good for
people
's life and
peace
. If any intruder comes, they will defend themselves by
threating
Correct your spelling
threatening
treating
 them. But it should not be shot. Because if its voice comes out, everyone will be afraid. So it should be carried only for intimidation.
On the other hand
,
this
 idea is wrong. In my opinion, carrying a handgun is very dangerous. Some
people
 say that
people
 should be allowed to carry
handguns
 for
self-defense
Change the spelling
self-defence
show examples
. But
this
 is a mistake. Because it is bad. Firth of all, it is very dangerous for human life.
Secondly
, it is
also
 dangerous for
children
. Because
children
 are very afraid. It affects our
peace
 very badly. If
this
 work is done, it is very dangerous for the
peace
 of our society and our country. Because if every person carries a handgun in his hand, we will become a bad nation,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
people
 fight with each other. The unity and
peace
 of our country will be disturbed.
Children
 are in danger and very afraid. In conclusion,
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 idea that
people
 should be allowed to carry
handgun
Fix the agreement mistake
handguns
show examples
 is not true,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is very dangerous for
people
's lives.
Submitted by ilkhomjon.uralov97 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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