Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary society, the advancement in the economy results in improving the standard of living in most countries worldwide,
while
Linking Words
, eventually, people lose several types of social value.
Although
Linking Words
economic
development
Use synonyms
is necessary to enrich individual lifestyles, I strongly believe that there is a significant risk in
this
Linking Words
excessive advancement in various industries.
To begin
Linking Words
, considerable economic
development
Use synonyms
brings a number of advantages to an individual's living.
For example
Linking Words
, in rich countries
such
Linking Words
as Singapore, many individuals can own incredibly expensive cars and properties, and
also
Linking Words
shop for luxury products, which are even unnecessary for living, merely because of their strong passion for buying.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
behaviour of rich people accelerates the production of luxury goods and services in a variety of industries for their
development
Use synonyms
and profits, thereby consuming natural resources and energy sources excessively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
economic
development
Use synonyms
could increase the standard of living, a lot of social values are impacted in an immense negative way and
then
Linking Words
no longer exist.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Japan, most large companies' offices are located in major cities
such
Linking Words
as Tokyo and Osaka.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, a significant number of the younger generation ended up relocating to these cities for their work.
Consequently
Linking Words
, there are countless rural areas and small villages which merged with larger cities
finally
Linking Words
, thereby losing their precious culture and heritage.
Moreover
Linking Words
, an excessive use of natural resources and energy,
also
Linking Words
negatively impacts our environment, including deforestation and air pollution. In summary, nowadays, it is a common understanding that economic growth enriches an individual's lifestyle.
However
Linking Words
, I wholeheartedly believe that the excessive demand of unnecessary productions brings detrimental effects on our society, culture, heritage and the environment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many large enterprises and the government should engage in activities which contribute to the sustainability of social values.
Submitted by taekojb77 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Further refine your introduction and conclusion for a stronger impact. While they are present, they could be more engaging and persuasive.
coherence
Incorporate a wider variety of linking phrases and cohesive devices to ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
specificity
To enhance task achievement, try to include more specific examples, data, or case studies to support your arguments more convincingly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • social values
  • materialism
  • community welfare
  • sustainable technologies
  • environmental degradation
  • social stratification
  • social cohesion
  • economic status
What to do next:
Look at other essays: