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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that children should aim to their best at what they are doing while others believe it is not necessary for them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #aim
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There is a thought that
children
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’s goal in everything ought to be the best, at the same time, another side of society doesn’t see it as an essential factor for them. In fact, both opinions have strong arguments, I guess
children
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 should be free to make a decision about what they want to do. Adults, particularly, parents want kids and teenagers to be the best whatever they do and think they should be responsible and productive till they achieve that aim. It is supposed that the modern world is so competitive and being good doesn’t make someone better while others can do more than them.
For example
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, a kid can be good at math, but on the university exam, there are many others who want to enter a university. So if they want to get the best result, they should do their best too. Colleges and companies choose the most suitable candidate for their organization because they have
also
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 competitors and they need someone who can think and solve problems at difficult times.
However
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, there are people who think being the best is not the only thing that
children
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 should do it.
Children
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 can feel under pressure when they do something because everyone expects the best from them. That feeling makes them exhausted and they cannot use their skills fully.
Furthermore
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, they don’t satisfy themselves too, because expectations raise their standards. Sometimes it can cause wrong decisions. Another fact is that their mental and physical health can be affected by
this
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 pressure and in the end, they even cannot do the least. In conclusion, being the best is an undeniable request by the world, because increasing and changing trends have no mercy on people who cannot be successful. But
that is
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 not right that only the bests can achieve something because there are other things
such
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 as health, happiness and freedom which are important for humans. I believe that
children
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 be allowed to do what they want in freedom because it makes them think healthily and chooses the best for them.
Submitted by zemamikayil on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • striving for excellence
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • competitive
  • reduces pressure
  • balanced development
  • fosters creativity
  • realistic goals
  • adverse mental health outcomes
  • achievable aspirations
  • balanced approach
  • participation
  • enjoyment
  • societal and cultural impact
  • understanding of success
What to do next:
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