In many part of the world, it is common for one parent to stay and home and raise a newborn child while the other works full-time to earn money. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#part #world #parent #home #child #works #money

Some people who come from specific countries may argue that there are settled roles of

parents

such

as parenting and working. They may claim that it is a better option to manage a family, but I personally believe that sharing responsibilities would give more advantages to

both

parents

In other words

, distinguishing roles of

parents

can have more disadvantages rather than merits in terms of

both

parents

and their children.

Firstly

, the development of children is influenced by

both

parents

regardless of gender. Newborn babies may need a lot of stimulants to develop their cognitive levels and muscle movements. If only

one

person takes a part in parenting, kids would take more time on advancing the development process.

Thus

both

people might be needed to give various examples showing different behaviours.

Also

, the distinct roles of

parents

can give stereotypes of gender.

For example

, if

one

child is grown by a mother who stays at home and focuses on parenting, there are chances that they think managing the house is for women, not for men. Even if that thought can be changed when they grow older, it would take time to broaden their views.

Secondly

parents

also

need another

one

who can share their feelings and pressures. When they concentrate on each work,

both

may lose

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

interest in each other.

This

is because they live in

such

different surroundings,

one

with excessive workloads and the other with a child. I personally believe that it is important to have a conversation to manage a family. By sharing parenting and working, they can talk based on their experiences and have less pressure on nurturing their child and earning the money.

Moreover

both

would empathize with each other's feelings which is

also

a critical aspect to maintain a family. In

this

context, shared feelings and thoughts may make them feel strong bondage between them. In conclusion, I personally claim that participating in parenting together would be more beneficial than dividing each work.

This

is because children can have

both

examples with developing multiple areas and

parents

can less burden of their pressure on working and nurturing.

Submitted by erimkim on Mon Dec 12 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

354 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many part of the world, it is common for one parent to stay and home and raise a newborn child while the other works full-time to earn money. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?

Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree?

some say that children should do unpaid community work, and some say it is not important for their development. How much do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the government should increase the tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?