IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realisticallyabout their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#think #people #career #realisticallyabout #future
Some people are of the opinion that youth should be open to making decisions on what they want to become without taking anything into account whereas others, including me, opine that individuals should consider in a realistic manner whether or not they will have a future while selecting their
career
 path.
Firstly
, some suggest people not succumb to external pressure and opt for a job that passionates them because it will help them to develop more interest in their domain and
consequently
, becoming an expert in it will be a certainty. To illustrate, if an individual who is passionate about football decides to become a professional player despite opposition from family and friends , the chances that he or she achieves success are high.
This
 is the reason why it is important to have a
career
 that fascinates us even if it sounds unusual and is not considered a popular choice.
However
, others, including me believe that passion and ambitions should match reality.
For instance
, if a person from Canada aims to become a cricketer in his country, he or she is bound to fail as
this
 game has no popularity among Canadians and
as a result
, the person in question could
also
 lose all the possibilities to earn a decent income as a consequence.
Hence
, a realistic
career
 is essential to earn a good income. To conclude,
although
 giving preference to the
career
 option that one likes is appreciated, I assert that opting for an employment option that corresponds to reality is the best thing to do.
Submitted by aswatht1996 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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