Some people think governments should make university education free, but others think students should pay fees by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

By all means, education should be free. The purpose of learning itself has already paid for the cost. The concept of learning can be transformed if we change the beginning. When we pay for a course upfront, the lecturer is obligated to teach and pass the pupils.
Conversely
, the pupils have the right to be made understand and to graduate.
Nevertheless
, if we make a new system, we do away the educational fees,
then
the students come to university out of their own curiosity and willingness to learn a new skill. The obligation is not on the teachers but on them
instead
. They may pick and choose what subject to master and expertise later on. With
this
, hopefully, they will learn what they love and in the future, they will love what they do for a living.
Moreover
, money is a well-known barrier to education all over the world.
For instance
, in my country, most of the unfortunate children did not even pass high school. School is already free, but they are still forced to stop going to school
due to
their parents' absence or sickness so they have to work for their younger siblings. And for those who did graduate, most of their families are already waiting to pluck their fruition. In their point of view, going to university will not only delay their income for years, but it is
also
too high to cost. So,
therefore
the new system is to see students as prospective candidates for the workforce.
Hence
, we teach an enhanced and practical skill in university
instead
of another four years of theoretical abstracts. They will no longer see it as a barrier but as a bridge to reach a better future. That being said, I strongly agree to remove fees from college education. It is better for everyone in the long run.
Submitted by aghnia.ulhaq on

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Task Response
To improve your task response, ensure that you discuss both views presented in the question fully before giving your personal opinion. Your essay mainly focuses on the viewpoint that education should be free, with limited consideration given to the opposing view that students should pay fees by themselves.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a higher coherence and cohesion score, try to structure your essay more clearly. Use separate paragraphs to discuss the opposing views, and clearly indicate when you are presenting your own opinion. Your introduction should present an overview of the arguments you will explore, and your conclusion should summarize your main points before stating your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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