IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do a different kind of jobs. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #change #career #life #jobs
It is believed that people should opt for another
career
 for the betterment of their professional progress at least once in their lifetime . I strongly believe that
this
 brings another level of confidence in the
employee
 and has more advantages than disadvantages. It is opined by many people that one has to come out of his comfort zone to become successful either in personal or professional life. There are several advantages to swapping careers in another vertical.
To begin
 with, if an
employee
 is doing the same
job
 for many years, it becomes monotonous for him and he has no thrive for that particular
job
therefore
 if he shifts to another
career
along with
 his past experiences, it would help him to reach a better position in the organization.
Secondly
, a professional can enlarge his knowledge horizon by changing a
career
 as he comes to know different requirements and opportunities in a new
job
.
Finally
, these changes give him handsome monetary benefits and he can live a satisfactory life and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fulfil the needs of family members.
On the other hand
, I believe that there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less financial benefit for an
employee
 if he is working at the same company and a position. He can not grow in his
career
 and easily gets demotivated by his work. As an
employee
 is doing a stagnant
job
 for a longer time, he becomes conservative which deteriorates his thought process.
To conclude
, I believe that for the holistic development of a
professional
Add a comma
professional,
show examples
 he should shift his
career
 at least once in his time, it will allow him to cater to more opportunities and
enhances
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
show examples
 his
career
 graph.
Submitted by himalibhavsar7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide a clear and direct answer to the prompt. Develop a stronger argument either for or against changing careers. Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Organize ideas logically and ensure that there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transition words and linking phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: