IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today many people do not realise how important the natural world is. Why is this? How can people learn more about the importance of the nature world?

#people #realise #world #importance #nature
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Nowadays a lot of
people
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 do not comprehend the importance of the natural world.
However
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, it is a fact that over the years
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technologies developed and
people
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 have more abilities to improve our environment but it does not happen. Perhaps, it is connected with other social
problems
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 of modern
people
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,
that is
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 for someone the
problems
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 with finances and relationships
more
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are more
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 crucial than global issues of our planet. In
this
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essay
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,essay
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 I will explain why is
this
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 so and how to fix
this
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 situation. Actually,
the
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apply
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nature
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 suffers from
people
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 but a lot of
people
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 suffer more from misery and poverty. For
Add a comma
,them
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them
Correct your spelling
the
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nature
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problems
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 not the most critical thing in their life. Obviously, the number of poor
people
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are
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is
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 higher than rich and it is the biggest problem
of
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on
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 our planet. The person which wakes up hungry every morning will not think about global
problems
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 since he will look for the solution
of
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to
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nutrition
Correct article usage
the nutrition
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 problem. Abraham Maslow described
this
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 in his theory of
hierarchy
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the hierarchy
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 of needs in the 20 century. The
mine
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main
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 idea of
this
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 theory is that if the person has physiological needs ( food, water, warmth )
then
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 he can not achieve another level of thinking. From another hand, in my opinion, not everyone who has
high
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a high
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 income
imagine
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imagines
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about
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apply
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environment
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environmental
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problems
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. It means that some
people
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 do not obtain enough info about
this
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 issue.
Then
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,
government
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the government
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 should punish or ban the administrators of factories which hide the effects of emissions. Certainly, it would be shown
in
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on
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 TV and at schools and colleges. I think every kid which would watch the effects of solutions and how it’s
fatally
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fatal
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 for our
nature
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 will change
the
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their
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 point of view. In conclusion,
the
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apply
show examples
nature
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 issues
connects
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connect
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 with society and to solve
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this
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
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problems
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 we should learn more about
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 at schools and colleges while the administration would solve
problems
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 with misery and global
nature
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problems
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.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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