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Band 6

Some people believe that experiences have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Other argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #experiences #school #effect #future #life #teenagers #influence
A few individuals argue that
children
 who had a wide range of
knowledge
 until school age and
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can show its biggest influence on their upcoming
life
. While another group of people think that obtained
knowledge
 duration of
adolescent
Add an article
the adolescent
show examples
 period
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a better impact. In my opinion, having experience
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
teenagers
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
 period is more beneficial for
years
 to come. For most parents, teaching
the
Change the word
their
show examples
children
 with some background
knowledge
 is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 way
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their impending
life
. For
this
 reason, some think that
children
 who had experience from
life
 until around 6 or 7
years
 old after
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be able to achieve easily to everything which they want,
although
 they face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many challenges
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
.
For example
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most developed countries imposed
children
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 which is called preparation till school teaching.
Thus
, knowing a wide range of expertise about the world will
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 the perfect lifestyle.
However
, I believe that gained
knowledge
 which is taken on the period of
Add an article
a teenager
the teenager
show examples
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 will have
influence
Correct article usage
an influence
show examples
Change preposition
of at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 much higher degree on their future. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in the early
years
 of
life
 around 5-7 kids
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 not able to learn everything well.
For instance
, lots of schools
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students with more serious lessons when they are
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
 by looking
their
Change preposition
at their
show examples
 cognitive skills.
Therefore
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 think that
obtained
Wrong verb form
obtaining
show examples
knowledge
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the age of
adolescent
Replace the word
adolescence
show examples
 can be much
worthwhile
Correct quantifier usage
more worthwhile
show examples
 for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 of them. To conclude,
although
 there are some advantages of having experience
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early age, I feel that a wide range of
knowledge
 is far
more handy
Replace the words
handier
show examples
 when they are
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their impending
years
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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