Zoos are inhumane and should be abolished. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people are of the view that
zoos
should be cancelled for their cruel way
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
treating
animals
. From my perspective,
zoos
have a significant number of upsides which will be considered below. The
first
argument in favour of the opinion that I support is that having a
zoo
in a town leads to an increase
of
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in
show examples
the economy of countries around the world.
For example
, there are an enormous number of tourists who find that
activity
Add a verb
isactivity
wasactivity
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quite attractive.
Moreover
, visiting a
zoo
is one of the most popular
entartaiments
Correct your spelling
entertainment
entertainments
for children. Undeniably, their parents
ready
Add a missing verb
are ready
show examples
to invest great sums of money to have a look at
animals
which were brought from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different places
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the planet. The
second
argument in favour of
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
view is the fact that
animals
’ health is more protected in
zoos
rather than in environmental conditions.
For instance
,
zoo
staff
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
after
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the quantity and quality of their food, they
devided
Correct your spelling
divide
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
zoo
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
different zones to protect weak species from predators and they provide these creatures with urgent medical help when it is necessary.
Furthermore
, it is widely known that
zoos
help a lot to save some rural species from their extinction. Undoubtedly, that would not be possible in real conditions. To conclude, there are some who believe that
zoos
have to be abolished due to the fact that it is
unkind
Correct article usage
an unkind
show examples
way to raise
animals
. I am totally convinced that there is no necessity
in
Change preposition
for
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that because
zoos
protect
animals
and are vital for
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
of countries’
economy
Fix the agreement mistake
economies
show examples
.
Submitted by nejo.quol on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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