Zoos are inhumane and should be abolished. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some people are of the view that
zoos
should be cancelled for their cruel way in
treating Change preposition
of
animals
. From my perspective, zoos
have a significant number of upsides which will be considered below.
The first
argument in favour of the opinion that I support is that having a zoo
in a town leads to an increase of
the economy of countries around the world. Change preposition
in
For example
, there are an enormous number of tourists who find that activity
quite attractive. Add a verb
isactivity
wasactivity
Moreover
, visiting a zoo
is one of the most popular entartaiments
for children. Undeniably, their parents Correct your spelling
entertainment
entertainments
ready
to invest great sums of money to have a look at Add a missing verb
are ready
animals
which were brought from the
different places Correct article usage
apply
of
the planet.
The Change preposition
on
second
argument in favour of the
view is the fact that Correct your spelling
this
animals
’ health is more protected in zoos
rather than in environmental conditions. For instance
, zoo
staff looking
after Wrong verb form
look
for
the quantity and quality of their food, they Change preposition
apply
devided
Correct your spelling
divide
a
Correct article usage
the
zoo
in
different zones to protect weak species from predators and they provide these creatures with urgent medical help when it is necessary. Change preposition
into
Furthermore
, it is widely known that zoos
help a lot to save some rural species from their extinction. Undoubtedly, that would not be possible in real conditions.
To conclude, there are some who believe that zoos
have to be abolished due to the fact that it is unkind
way to raise Correct article usage
an unkind
animals
. I am totally convinced that there is no necessity in
that because Change preposition
for
zoos
protect animals
and are vital for increase
of countries’ Add an article
an increase
the increase
economy
.Fix the agreement mistake
economies
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite