IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many young people change their jobs and careers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#people #change #jobs #careers
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Having a
job
Use synonyms
 nowadays is not
easy
Add an article
an easy
show examples
 goal to achieve,as
people
Use synonyms
 have a lot of competitors and
work
Correct article usage
the work
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 field now is easy to get in and not rely
entirly
Correct your spelling
entirely
 anymore on
persons
Replace the word
people
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 certificates only.
Although
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,most of
youth
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the youth
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 today are pointing their targets towards changing their places of work
instead
Linking Words
on
Change preposition
of
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 being in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
worplace
Correct your spelling
workplace
 for a long time.
this
Linking Words
 essay will argue the benefits
besides
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consequencies
Correct your spelling
consequences
 which
resulting
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
on
Change preposition
from
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 that. Some
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 of careers as soon as they graduates,making their
first
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 goal
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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to be
financialy
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financially
dependant
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dependent
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.For them changing jobs
giving
Wrong verb form
gives
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 them chances to face different challenges and collect more
experiance
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experience
.
As
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For
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example
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an example
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, studies made in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 recently
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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 that
people
Use synonyms
tends
Change the verb form
tend
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 to change their jobs at least three times before they reach age 40. As result , they can manage their decisions
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then
Replace the word
than
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 more easily and with
Add an article
a confidant
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confidant
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confidence
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. On the other side,there are some
Correct pronoun usage
who tends
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tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
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 to have a steady and stable life.they
are considers
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are considered
are considering
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 the
job
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 as
its
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it's
it is
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 a good chance for promoting and increasing
salary
Correct pronoun usage
their salary
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 regularly with spending more years in it.If we looked
for example
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 to the Middle East area,we find that
Correct article usage
the periority
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periority
Correct your spelling
priority
 there is to own or rent a house near the workplace and
establishing
Wrong verb form
establish
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 a family,for them changing the
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
 or
job
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more
consequencies
Correct your spelling
consequences
 they are not always ready to handle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In conclusion,if
people
Use synonyms
 start to think of changing their work
ar
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 career,they should be ready to deal with both sides of
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
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 their decision.In my opinion,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 necessary to change my
job
Use synonyms
,but
that
Correct word choice
apply
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only if the
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
then
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more rational and reasonable to take.
Submitted by mr.mohamedfouad1012 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career switch
  • job dissatisfaction
  • financial incentives
  • personal fulfillment
  • professional advancement
  • exploratory journey
  • toxic workplace
  • acquisition of new competencies
  • workplace flexibility
  • adapting to evolving industries
What to do next:
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