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Band 5.5

Many young people change their jobs and careers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#people #change #jobs #careers
Having a
job
 nowadays is not
easy
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an easy
show examples
 goal to achieve,as
people
 have a lot of competitors and
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 field now is easy to get in and not rely
entirly
Correct your spelling
entirely
 anymore on
persons
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people
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 certificates only.
Although
,most of
youth
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the youth
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 today are pointing their targets towards changing their places of work
instead
on
Change preposition
of
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 being in
same
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the same
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worplace
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workplace
 for a long time.
this
 essay will argue the benefits
besides
consequencies
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consequences
 which
resulting
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result
show examples
on
Change preposition
from
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 that. Some
people
thinks
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think
show examples
 of careers as soon as they graduates,making their
first
 goal
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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to be
financialy
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financially
dependant
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dependent
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.For them changing jobs
giving
Wrong verb form
gives
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 them chances to face different challenges and collect more
experiance
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experience
.
As
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For
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example
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an example
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, studies made in
UK
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the UK
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 recently
shows
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show
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 that
people
tends
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tend
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 to change their jobs at least three times before they reach age 40. As result , they can manage their decisions
then
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than
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 more easily and with
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a confidant
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confidant
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confidence
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. On the other side,there are some
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who tends
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tends
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tend
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 to have a steady and stable life.they
are considers
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are considered
are considering
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 the
job
 as
its
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it's
it is
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 a good chance for promoting and increasing
salary
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their salary
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 regularly with spending more years in it.If we looked
for example
 to the Middle East area,we find that
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the periority
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periority
Correct your spelling
priority
 there is to own or rent a house near the workplace and
establishing
Wrong verb form
establish
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 a family,for them changing the
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
 or
job
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 more
consequencies
Correct your spelling
consequences
 they are not always ready to handle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In conclusion,if
people
 start to think of changing their work
ar
Correct your spelling
or
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 career,they should be ready to deal with both sides of
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
for
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of
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 their decision.In my opinion,
its
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it's
it is
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 necessary to change my
job
,but
that
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apply
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only if the
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
then
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more rational and reasonable to take.
Submitted by mr.mohamedfouad1012 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career switch
  • job dissatisfaction
  • financial incentives
  • personal fulfillment
  • professional advancement
  • exploratory journey
  • toxic workplace
  • acquisition of new competencies
  • workplace flexibility
  • adapting to evolving industries
What to do next:
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