IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#events #football #world #cup #occasions #tensions #emotions
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It is generally thought that popular
sports
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events
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such
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 as the football
World
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 Cup have a vital role in mitigating international conflicts and releasing feelings
nationalism
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of nationalism
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in
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apply
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a
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an
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in a
Remove the redundancy
apply
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safe way. In
this
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 essay, I am going to explain why I firmly agree with
this
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 statement. The main reason for believing
this
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 is that international
sports
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events
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 can ease several countries' arguments which have been ongoing for a long time. One good illustration of
this
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 is the
two
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 female
athletes
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' sportsmanship in the 2020 Olympics. The Japanese and South Korean speed skaters held each other's shoulders and hugged with teared-up eyes just after they cut the finishing tape at almost the same time. The result was so close, but after the record showed up, these
two
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 young
athletes
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 purely celebrated each other's success and the efforts they made.
This
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 scene hit both Japanese and South Korean hearts because
since
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,since
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 1940, these
two
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 countries could not bridge the gap between them. There was a
huge
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hugely
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 controversial topic about military prostitutes during the war in the 1940s. Because of
this
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, these
two
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 often argue in the diplomatic scene.
However
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,
this
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 sportsmanship was well beyond the inner conflicts.
Therefore
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, it is possible to say that international
sports
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events
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 and
athletes
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' sportsmanship can bring nations together in a positive way. A reason I believe international
sports
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events
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 are beneficial is that
these
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they
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 can unify people and increase patriotic emotions. It is often can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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seen in the football
World
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 Cup, with people wearing the same national uniform and singing their national anthem proudly and cheering on their country's representatives as national supporters. Sometimes they give high-fives to each other even though they are not acquaintances.
In addition
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, after the match, different countries' supporters often applaud each other's efforts with pride and patriotic emotions, just the same as
athletes
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 do on the pitch. These attitudes are a good example of releasing patriotic emotions safely. In conclusion, I strongly believe that international
events
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such
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 as the Olympic Games or the football
World
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 Cup play a vital role in maintaining
world
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 peace and recognising nationalism in a positive way.
Submitted by marisa.thewords on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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