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Band 4

Even though experts believe that walking is a great way to improve one's health, very few people walk nowadays. Why aren't people walking? What can be done to encourage them to walk more?

#experts #health #people #aren
Since ancient times, the fundamental principle to
remain
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
 fit and
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 a healthy life is in doing physical exercises regularly. These exercises not only help in attaining a good physique but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
 improves the metabolism and blood circulation in the body. According to health professionals, strolling daily has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great value in maintaining health but for the past few years, few
people
 have either reduced their
walk
Replace the word
walking
show examples
 or quit it completely.
This
 essay will analyse what lead to
this
 cause and what factors can encourage
people
 to increase their walking yards.
People
 are walking less due to many reasons but primarily it is due to the availability of transport either public or private is abundance. They believe that by using transportation they can save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
valuable time. Weather
also
 plays a significant role and
people
 find it really hard to walk in hot, humid and
extreme
Change the word
extremely
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 cold climatic conditions.
Moreover
, they say that due to
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
 rate of street crimes they have either shortened their
walk
Replace the word
walking
show examples
 or quit it completely.
Furthermore
,
people
 now have access to fitness centres where they can use different equipment and machinery to walk or jog. For them walking alone on
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
 without a partner is a boring activity. In order to encourage and motivate
people
 to walk more, one can make walking tracks covered with shades to reduce heat. Walking tracks should be made more beautiful by improving the landscape of the parks
such
 that one should feel
refreshing
Wrong verb form
refreshed
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. Advertisement boards should be in place and different activities should be planned to make walking a splendid experience. The government should
also
 hold health awareness programs and should emphasise the importance of
walk
Wrong verb form
walking
show examples
. To recapitulate, the aforementioned highlights different factors resulting in reduced walk and suggested
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 recommendations
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 things can be improved. It is medically proven that walking is a very good exercise to acquire
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 balance in body structure and one should do it regularly.
Submitted by harshijayalath97 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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