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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

As more and more information is available online, the role of textbooks has become obsolete. Therefore, universities should replace traditional books with digital materials. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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Technological breakthroughs introduce enormous opportunities to human civilisation in the twenty-first century. Physical publication is going extinct and digital versions are more appealing to the tertiary institutions as a pragmatic replacement.
This
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 essay will discuss both the upsides and the pitfalls as I wholeheartedly argue that
overall
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,
this
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 is a beneficial trend for several reasons. On the one hand,
this
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 extraordinarily advantageous trajectory will not only result in the preservation of forests but
also
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 will lead to more efficiency. If universities consume fewer
paper
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 versions of academic materials
then
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 fewer trees are destined to be cut,
for example
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.
Furthermore
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, computers can provide a tremendously higher level of efficiency by incorporating artificial intelligence into their design.
Thus
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, these two aforementioned merits not only preserve the environment but
also
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 increase the speed of the academic learning process.
On the other hand
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, digitalisation may not be convenient for everyone and
also
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 can cause harm to health which are the drawbacks. If others really cherish the feel, touch and smell of the
paper
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then
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 the digital alternative may not satisfy them,
for instance
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.
Moreover
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, sitting for long hours in front of digital screens is detrimental to the eyes and can bring about other pernicious effects on the body as well.
Therefore
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, older generations are addicted to
paper
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 publications and the youngsters are risking devastating deterioration in their health, particularly in their sight,
as a result
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 of
adoption
Add an article
the adoption
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 of alternative technology. In conclusion, unequivocally there are a combination of advantages and downsides in case the tertiary institutions replaced the
paper
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 version of textbooks with the modern digital alternatives.
Nevertheless
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, I argue that the harms are infinitesimal when compared to the enormous advantages of digitalisation from protecting wildlife and the rising speed of processing university materials.

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task achievement
Although the essay provides a well-rounded discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of replacing traditional textbooks with digital materials, there are areas that can be enhanced. To improve your task response, ensure that you expand on each point with even more specific examples and add more depth to your arguments. Additionally, make sure that your arguments are balanced and consider potential counterarguments to strengthen your position further.
coherence cohesion
The essay utilizes a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, it's important to ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Using transitional phrases or sentences will help to create a more cohesive piece. Linking the ideas more explicitly can improve the overall coherence, making it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets the stage well by outlining the focus of the essay and stating a clear argument. This immediately captures the reader's interest.
supported main points
The essay provides specific examples to support claims, such as the impact on forests and the efficiency of AI, which adds credibility to your points.
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