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Band 4.5

Health experts claim that walking is the best exercise. However, people are walking less on a daily basis

#health #experts #exercise #people #basis
Walking is the best way for to
people
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
 rid of many health problems. Walking is affect
people
's health in many ways. In my opinion, I believe the advantages of walking outweigh the drawback.
However
, in
this
 essay I will discuss the
reasons
 of
people
 do not walk today and ,
finally
Add a comma
,finally
show examples
 I will propose to good encourage
people
 about walking.
On the other hand
, critics may point out that, one of the most significant drawbacks of less walking is the increase in some health problems.
Such
 as, chorostoal, diabetics and
also
people
 become fat. Because they get less exercise for their body. There are more
reasons
 for
people
 didn't like to walk. The most preponderant one is that the school, working place, shops and hospitals are situated in long distance from their homes.
Furthermore
, a huge amount of
people
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 using vehicles. For that ,reason peoples use their own vehicles to go
a short distances
Correct the article-noun agreement
a short distance
short distances
show examples
.
For example
, the newspaper Australia mentioned that vehicle users increased and
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
predictions decreased in the modern world.
On the other hand
, nowadays
people
 are used to a very busy life. So they went to work early in the morning and come back home in the evening.
Hence
, they spend a very tiring lifestyle. For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
people
 do not like to walk.
Therefore
, peoples use vehicles to travel. There are so many solutions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the above-mentioned problems. The
first
 solution is we can build the shops, schools, hospitals and shopping centres and
also
 park within walking distance.
Secondly
, we can create a park with walking lines. It encourages
people
 to walk even they have leisure time.
Finally
, we can telecast the advertisement about the benefits of walking. In my own opinion, I think walking is a good habit
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 to do their leadirevtime. Nowadays
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 do not like to walk for many
reasons
. But we can provide a good solution for those
reasons
.
Submitted by harshijayalath97 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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