Nowadays, it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them relocated in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Explain your reasons and support them with specific examples.

#move #ocean #creatures #habitat #sea #amusement #parks #purpose #people’s #recreation #development #support

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These days, several

animals

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which live at

sea

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have been relocated to some amusement parks for

human’s

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human

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recreation.

This

Linking Words

case would give benefits

for

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apply

show examples

park visitors who need knowledge and entertainment about

ocean

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creatures

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Linking Words

however

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,however

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there are some drawbacks for the

animals

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since

artificial

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the artificial

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habitat

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is not as comfortable as their natural

habitat

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and

sea

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creatures

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will not feel free. I believe that the disadvantages surpass the advantages.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the relocation of

ocean

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creatures

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to the animal parks will bring

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

human

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humans

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due to

the

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apply

show examples

entertainment and

education

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educational

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purposes. The presence of

ocean

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animals

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such

Linking Words

dolphin

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dolphins

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and

whale

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whales

show examples

in the park will make people can see them directly because they can not see from the

sea

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Furthermore

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, it would give some additional information for the visitors about several knowledge of

animals

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in the

ocean

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For instance

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, primary school students go to Amusement

Park

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Parks

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to see and learn about how whales live in their

habitat

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On the other hand

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, forcing

sea

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animals

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to live outside their natural

habitat

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would make them constrained and perhaps they would be stressed and infected with various diseases.

This

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condition would make their probability to die quickly increase.

In addition

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, if the

animals

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are endangered, that would be a big problem since their

extistence

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existence

will disappear completely.

For example

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, dolphins can not live in

high temperature

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high-temperature

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water like in

the

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apply

show examples

animal parks;

hence

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the

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apply

show examples

dolphin would get suffered.

Thus

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, in my point of

view

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,view

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the drawbacks overshadow the benefits. To sum up, relocating

ocean

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creatures

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to amusement

parkspark

Correct your spelling

park park

parks park

dark spark

would give advantages for humans because

sea

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creatures

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would give additional knowledge for them, while

for

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apply

show examples

animals

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they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would be uncomfortable and stressed because of the different

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habitat

Fix the agreement mistake

habitats

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;

therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that the negative impacts outweigh the positive impacts.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sun Dec 18 2022

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ethical considerations
natural habitat
human amusement
animal welfare
educational benefits
artificial environments
behavioral and health issues
economic upside
local economies
marine exhibits
ecological impact
disrupting marine ecosystems
biodiversity
ecological balance
advocacy
regulation
conservation-focused

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