Nowadays, it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them relocated in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Explain your reasons and support them with specific examples.

#move #ocean #creatures #habitat #sea #amusement #parks #purpose #people’s #recreation #development #support

These days, several

animals

which live at

sea

have been relocated to some amusement parks for

human’s

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human

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recreation.

This

case would give benefits

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

park visitors who need knowledge and entertainment about

ocean

creatures

however

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,however

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there are some drawbacks for the

animals

since

artificial

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the artificial

show examples

habitat

is not as comfortable as their natural

habitat

and

sea

creatures

will not feel free. I believe that the disadvantages surpass the advantages.

To begin

with, the relocation of

ocean

creatures

to the animal parks will bring

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

impact

for

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show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment and

education

Replace the word

educational

show examples

purposes. The presence of

ocean

animals

such

dolphin

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dolphins

show examples

and

whale

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whales

show examples

in the park will make people can see them directly because they can not see from the

sea

Furthermore

, it would give some additional information for the visitors about several knowledge of

animals

in the

ocean

For instance

, primary school students go to Amusement

Park

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Parks

show examples

to see and learn about how whales live in their

habitat

On the other hand

, forcing

sea

animals

to live outside their natural

habitat

would make them constrained and perhaps they would be stressed and infected with various diseases.

This

condition would make their probability to die quickly increase.

In addition

, if the

animals

are endangered, that would be a big problem since their

extistence

Correct your spelling

existence

will disappear completely.

For example

, dolphins can not live in

high temperature

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high-temperature

show examples

water like in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animal parks;

hence

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dolphin would get suffered.

Thus

, in my point of

view

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,view

show examples

the drawbacks overshadow the benefits. To sum up, relocating

ocean

creatures

to amusement

parkspark

Correct your spelling

park park

parks park

dark spark

would give advantages for humans because

sea

creatures

would give additional knowledge for them, while

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

animals

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would be uncomfortable and stressed because of the different

habitat

Fix the agreement mistake

habitats

show examples

;

therefore

, I believe that the negative impacts outweigh the positive impacts.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sun Dec 18 2022

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ethical considerations
natural habitat
human amusement
animal welfare
educational benefits
artificial environments
behavioral and health issues
economic upside
local economies
marine exhibits
ecological impact
disrupting marine ecosystems
biodiversity
ecological balance
advocacy
regulation
conservation-focused

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