IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools . others, however, believe taht boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #boys #girls #schools #taht #benefit
Some countries
experience
 separate
education
 for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 as well as combined, and parents can choose one of them, but it is considered by many that youngsters who educate in same-
gender
 schools have drawbacks in the future. I totally agree with
this
 suggestion.
This
 essay will
first
 look at the problem
such
 as lack of
communication
 with
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
gender
 and
then
 discuss how
separate
Add the particle
to separate
show examples
gender
education
 affects success in
education
.
Firstly
, the main obstacle which is caused by same-
gender
education
 is that children do not get
experience
Fix the infinitive
to experience
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
communication
 with the opposite
gender
. To put
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 other words, people who did not have
experience
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
socializing with
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
 sex in childhood face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems in love relationships in adult life, especially it affects woman
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because lack of
experience
 in
communication
 with men lead to shyness and scaring to talk with men.
For instance
, psychologists say that 85% of women who studied in a female school have a problem in private life with the opposite
gender
.
Secondly
, combined
education
 helps children in the studying process. It is argued that
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and females have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
different thinking and attitude, a woman’s brain is more concentrated and sensitive to the details, while a man's brain responds quickly to incoming information, it means that cooperative learning is a great balance of two different attitudes.
For example
, there are a lot of collaborations during the studying process, and in
this
 combination students of
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
gender
 can share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different ideas and get some new
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to great achievements in the study. To conclude, some advocate that same-
gender
education
 can lead to obstacles in the future, I completely agree with
this
 opinion. Shared
education
 can cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems in future relationships with the opposite
gender
 because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
experience
 in
communication
, and
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 separate
gender
education
 steals from students the opportunity to exchange experiences between students of different genders.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: