Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the arts (eg. music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #focus #services #arts #eg #music

Today

according to

some people's opinion government should take into account spending money and prioritize their income to public needs rather than waste finance on artistic works like symphonies and drawings.I completely disagree with

this

idea as both of these sectors are equally essential for a nation. In the following essay, I will explain my thoughts thoroughly. Public services are intriguing as they have a crucial role in the improvement of society.

For

this

reason, the authority pays more attention to the development of healthcare,education

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

infrastructure and others.

Furthermore

,when citizens are healthy, they have the inner power to get an education,and wise people can encourage themselves to contribute to the development of the country.

Likewise

,a good infrastructure undoubtedly leads anything to the top place and

also

economic growth.So public awareness plays a crucial role in enhancing.

On the other hand

,the art sector is important too.

As it

Correct word choice

show examples

is a basic concept for not forgetting the origin of the country,its history,natural atmosphere.

Moreover

,history is a reflection of culture,without it, a person cannot be aware of anything.

In addition

,there are too many artists who cannot be truly encouraged.If it is properly promoted by the government, the flow of tourists can give a boost to financial support and

thus

generate more than a thousand job vacancies.Contrary,it would be better if support is given truly. In conclusion,everything has two sides,but I think both arguments have a fundamental impact on the country.Of course,support for the public can give potential and much more profit than expected,but it doesn't mean art should be unnecessary as well.

Submitted by jefnesbit on Sun Dec 18 2022

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task achievement

Your argument about the importance of public services and the arts is well-presented. However, try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay follows a logical structure and presents clear ideas, but the introduction and conclusion could be more focused and impactful.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public services
healthcare
education
infrastructure
quality of life
economic productivity
social equity
essential resources
long-term benefits
public health
educational attainment
public transportation
creativity
cultural preservation
social cohesion
indirect economic benefits
tourism industry
cultural heritage
balanced approach
well-rounded society

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Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the arts (eg. music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people argue that because the internet make it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. instead they should focus on developing children's skills and potential, and their relationships with other people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that competitive sports such as soccer can help to reach cultural interaction among people of different age groups and nationalities, but others think that it would cause problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Traditional schooling is out of date, boring and stifles a child’s natural talents, various professionals have pushed for an education revolution. Are there alternatives in the education system? Is traditional education doing more harm than good?