Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the arts (eg. music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today
according to
some people's opinion government should take into account spending money and prioritize their income to public needs rather than waste finance on artistic works like symphonies and drawings.I completely disagree with Linking Words
this
idea as both of these sectors are equally essential for a nation. In the following essay, I will explain my thoughts thoroughly.
Public services are intriguing as they have a crucial role in the improvement of society.Linking Words
For
Linking Words
this
reason, the authority pays more attention to the development of healthcare,education Linking Words
and
infrastructure and others.Correct word choice
apply
Furthermore
,when citizens are healthy, they have the inner power to get an education,and wise people can encourage themselves to contribute to the development of the country.Linking Words
Likewise
,a good infrastructure undoubtedly leads anything to the top place and Linking Words
also
economic growth.So public awareness plays a crucial role in enhancing.
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On the other hand
,the art sector is important too.Linking Words
As it
is a basic concept for not forgetting the origin of the country,its history,natural atmosphere.Correct word choice
It
Moreover
,history is a reflection of culture,without it, a person cannot be aware of anything.Linking Words
In addition
,there are too many artists who cannot be truly encouraged.If it is properly promoted by the government, the flow of tourists can give a boost to financial support and Linking Words
thus
generate more than a thousand job vacancies.Contrary,it would be better if support is given truly.
In conclusion,everything has two sides,but I think both arguments have a fundamental impact on the country.Of course,support for the public can give potential and much more profit than expected,but it doesn't mean art should be unnecessary as well.Linking Words
Submitted by jefnesbit on
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task achievement
Your argument about the importance of public services and the arts is well-presented. However, try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure and presents clear ideas, but the introduction and conclusion could be more focused and impactful.