IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in the modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as a whole?

#illiteracy #concern #countries #world #effects #people #society
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Nowadays, many
people
 around
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 world still
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 read and write.
This
 becomes their
government
’s headache. There seem to be three main causes and one main
effects
Change to a singular noun
effect
show examples
, which we will discuss here Possibly the main cause is poor economic development which
a
Add a missing verb
has a
show examples
long-term impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
some
nation’s
Fix the agreement mistake
nations’
show examples
 literacy
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
, especially in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing countries. They do not have enough money to spend it.
For example
, even though it’s
well-known
Correct article usage
a well-known
show examples
 fact that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
would provide
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 their citizens
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 primary education;
however
, their tight budget cannot work efficiently. Another cause is numerous
high ranked
Add a hyphen
high-ranked
show examples
 employees who work
at
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in
show examples
government
 got involved a corruption. They could be utilizing their
government
 money
into
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their own good.
Therefore
, it may result
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 or stop
new
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in new
show examples
 school building projects
as well as
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
 teacher hiring process. It may not
possible
Add a missing verb
be possible
show examples
 that without having enough education
sector’s
Change noun form
sector
show examples
 employees those countries could not beat a high
rate
 of illiteracy.
Third
Add an article
The third
A third
show examples
 cause is probably
constant
Correct article usage
the constant
show examples
 increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the
show examples
human population. It is causing many problems. One of them is
growth
Add an article
the growth
a growth
show examples
 of
illiteracy
Correct article usage
the illiteracy
show examples
rate
. For instance,
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 population has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased rapidly, and it recently hit
eight
Correct article usage
the eight
show examples
 billion
marks
Fix the agreement mistake
mark
show examples
. At the same time,
however
, the literate
rate
 could not catch
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 significant growth.
This
 problem could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
seriously
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 who live in those developing countries.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 effect of being
non educated
Add a hyphen
non-educated
show examples
 is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of income. One possible case,
if
Add a missing verb
is if
show examples
 the
people
 could not properly read and write, it might be difficult
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them to find a job.
Another
Change preposition
In another
show examples
 case,
although
 they have a job, it is tough to get promoted
a
Change preposition
to a
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better job position.
Therefore
, at least if they can read, they would get hired. Without adequate
income
Add a comma
income,
show examples
people
 could not live a quality life and may still live poor.
Overall
, poor economy,
government
 corruption, and human population seem to be the main causes.
As a result
,
poverty
Correct article usage
the poverty
show examples
 level
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 high
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
globally.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Literacy
  • Illiteracy
  • Poverty
  • Access
  • Educational resources
  • Social inequality
  • Discrimination
  • Gender disparity
  • Racial bias
  • Cultural norms
  • Technological advances
  • Political instability
  • Disruption
  • Education systems
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Job prospects
  • Health implications
  • Self-esteem
  • Empowerment
  • Economic growth
  • Social cohesion
  • Civic participation
  • Democratic processes
  • Exclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: