IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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Nowadays, many
countries
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 have been trying to develop advanced items to solve the lack of
food
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 in the
world
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 by the way why many people around the
world
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 still go hungry. In my opinion, I think “Capitalism”. Under “the
world
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 order” by the USA in 1970 (the cold war) divide the
countries
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 around the
world
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into
Add a missing verb
were into
show examples
 3 groups, 1) the
first
Linking Words
world
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 was like the USA, UK, and Japan like that, 2) the
second
Linking Words
world
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 was like the Soviet Union and 3) the
third
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 word was a developing country. I didn’t think capitalism is bad. I think it made many problems
such
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 as the lack of
food
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 in poor
countries
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. According to economics, developed
countries
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 have an absolute right to take advantage of the resource in the developing
countries
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 with the lowest wage, the hardest work and the most dangerous place
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
Hence
Linking Words
, the people who live in developing
countries
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 has no opportunities to mobilisation their status. The lowest wage they get and vice versa the high price of their item product
for example
Linking Words
 1 dollar US per day for 1 worker in developed
countries
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, but 100 dollars US per the item product to be sealed, the cap is approximately 99 dollars US goes to the owner who lives in the developed
countries
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. The solve
this
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 problem, I think the government in each country should guarantee their citizen
have
Change the verb form
has
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 basic rights,
food
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, clean water and education,
for example
Linking Words
. The highest price of
food
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resize
Correct subject-verb agreement
resizes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor people to access
food
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, so the government need to bare the barrier price of
food
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 won’t be high.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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