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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

#criminals #crimes #prison
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In the modern era, the
crime
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 rate is increasing tremendously all over the world. It is higher among the people who are released from
prison
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. The following essay will discuss reasons
such
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 as the
lack
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 of jobs and acceptance by society and the introduction of
skill
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 training and rehabilitation are possible solutions to decrease the
crime
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rates
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. Some of the reasons behind the surge in
crime
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rates
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 are the
lack
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 of jobs after their release from
Prison
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. When
criminals
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 are released after the completion of their sentence, they struggle to find a
job
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 due to a
lack
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 of skills needed for any skilled
job
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then
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 they start stealing or do crimes to fulfil their basic needs.
Moreover
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, their criminal status
also
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 acts as a barrier to finding a suitable
job
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. No one will offer them a
job
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 due to which they start working with other
criminals
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 and are at higher risk of getting caught again. The
crime
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rates
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 can be reduced by introducing certain programs during
prison
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 time.
Firstly
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, by the introduction of
skill
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 training, the government can train the prisoners in skills
such
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 as painting, mechanics, and plumbing which will assist them in long term to gain a
skill
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 required to find a
job
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 in the community.
Secondly
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, the government should introduce a rehabilitation program for
criminals
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 where they were taught some techniques to control their temptation to commit any crimes or look for an easy way out.
Furthermore
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, the introduction of these programs provides a chance to
criminals
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 to amend their ways. To conclude, the
crime
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rates
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 among released prisoners are increasing due to unemployment and
lack
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 of social acceptance by the community which can be eradicated through
skill
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 training and rehabilitation during their
prison
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 time.
Submitted by bhullar_parmjeet on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
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