Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

To begin

Linking Words

with,

under

Change preposition

apply

show examples

developing countries like India, Pakistan, Nepal, and Bangladesh tend to have 70% of the unskilled population as compared to developed countries like

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

Kingdom and

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

states most of the population is

Use synonyms

education

Replace the word

educated

show examples

, smart and Intelligent. In my opinion, I agree that every country should encourage their population to have basic

education

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, in a country like

India

Add a comma

,India

show examples

most of the people are uneducated and

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not have the access to basic

education

Use synonyms

Families

Use synonyms

force their

children

Use synonyms

to work at an early age to earn money to run their

families

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, most of the

children

Use synonyms

will be seen working as house helps, in factories and in shops.

Secondly

Linking Words

, females living in villages are forced to get married at an early age so that they can only look after their

families

Use synonyms

and

kins

Fix the agreement mistake

kin

show examples

, they do not have the support from their own

families

Use synonyms

to explore their interests towards activities like sports,

education

Use synonyms

, and

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, due to the advancement in

technology

Add a comma

,technology

show examples

most of the world is studying online via

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

on phones, laptops, and computers.

For example

Linking Words

, many online degrees like Udemy,

Byjus

Correct word choice

and Byjus

show examples

have taken over the

education

Use synonyms

system where

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

access to study material and a tutor.

Thus

Linking Words

, making lectures more feasible and accessible.

Moreover

Linking Words

, students learn how to crack the interviews with the help of YouTube resulting in getting a job.

Government

Add an article

The government

show examples

took several initiatives to help the weaker section of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society with schemes like mid-day meals and free

education

Use synonyms

in government schools so that every kid is capable of being an entrepreneur or

to work

Change the verb form

working

show examples

in a

multi-national

Correct your spelling

multinational

show examples

firm. To Conclude, every child should be allowed to get

the

Correct article usage

show examples

basic

education

Use synonyms

, parents should encourage their

children

Use synonyms

to explore what he/she likes to build

the

Correct article usage

show examples

career in so that they know what they are best at. Child labour should be banned and fined. More the educated crowd the more the economy will bloom.

mailtoritika.chandwaniTue Dec 20 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

literacy and numeracy skills
competitive job market
advanced knowledge and skills
versatile workforce
higher education
specialized training
economic development
skilled workforce
foreign investors
social outcomes
reduced crime rates
quality of life
informed decisions
financial constraints
diluting resources
government role
accessible and equitable education

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
Obviously, These days tourism is bigger than ever, and everyone has their own favourite travel style. Personally, I think it is a really great idea to move with a partner. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
7
band
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Few humans are in favour of spending their lives performing the exact activities and ignoring doing different activities. However, others think that change in life always comes with beneficial improvements. In my perspective, a person will get bored with doing the same activity and can be stuck in his life by avoiding change. Everyone should know how changes bring positive impact and happiness in our lives.
7
band
Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
In the contemporary era, a noticeable shift in family planning has emerged and a growing number of individuals have a tendency is have their offspring at a later stage. I believe there are numerous benefits such as they can spend quality time together and preparing mentally, a financially better for their children.
7.5
band
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of oil drilling operations in remote locations around the world. This has brought economic benefits to some countries, though it has also raised concerns about the environmental impact of these operations. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Throughout history, Oil has played a critical role in meeting the energy demands of various industries and sectors. Recently, there has been a noticeable rise in oil drilling operations taking place in remote locations worldwide. While this development has brought economic advantages to certain countries, it has also raised awareness about the impact on the environment. In the following paragraphs, both of these views will be discussed, and the opinion will be given in detail before the conclusion is reached.
7
band
Demand for gas and oil is increasing, and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
The increasing demand for gas and oil has led some people to consider exploring new sources in remote and untouched areas. While tapping into these new resources may help meet the rising demand and create job opportunities, the environmental impacts and potential harm to wildlife far outweigh these benefits.

Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Demand for gas and oil is increasing, and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?