Nowadays, many people move away from their friends and family for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, many
people
relocated
Wrong verb form
relocate
show examples
to other places in search of jobs and leave their friends and family behind.
While
there are certain drawbacks to
this
, they are outweighed by the benefits. One downside of moving to other places is the feeling of homesickness. Starting a life in a new location can often be challenging, especially without the emotional support of family members. When a person is left without
such
support,
this
may affect their mood, confidence, and productivity, which can take its toll on the person’s
overall
well-being. The fact that it is hard to adapt to new environments is another drawback.
For example
, when a person moves abroad, they may find the local language and culture difficult.
This
usually slows down the adaptation process and can even lead to depression. Despite these disadvantages, the advantages are greater. One notable upside is the opportunity for personal growth. When
people
start living away from their familiar surroundings, they become independent, which can teach them several skills, including but not limited to managing their finances, cooking, and overcoming challenges all by themselves. These help
people
to become more well-rounded. Another positive is that
people
can improve their standard of living.
For instance
, salaries offered in foreign countries are usually markedly higher than those in
people
’s own country.
As a result
, they can not only meet their basic needs for food and shelter but
also
save money to support their family members. In conclusion,
although
there are some disadvantages to moving away from family and friends for work, they are not as significant as the advantages.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Try to further develop the examples and explanations to ensure they fully support your main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly differentiate parts of your essay to enhance logical flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, setting a strong start and end to your arguments.
task achievement
There is a good balance of advantages and disadvantages discussed, indicating a complete response to the essay topic.

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