Nowadays, many people move away from their friends and family for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, many

people

Use synonyms

relocated

Wrong verb form

relocate

show examples

to other places in search of jobs and leave their friends and family behind.

While

Linking Words

there are certain drawbacks to

this

Linking Words

, they are outweighed by the benefits. One downside of moving to other places is the feeling of homesickness. Starting a life in a new location can often be challenging, especially without the emotional support of family members. When a person is left without

such

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support,

this

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may affect their mood, confidence, and productivity, which can take its toll on the person’s

overall

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well-being. The fact that it is hard to adapt to new environments is another drawback.

For example

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, when a person moves abroad, they may find the local language and culture difficult.

This

Linking Words

usually slows down the adaptation process and can even lead to depression. Despite these disadvantages, the advantages are greater. One notable upside is the opportunity for personal growth. When

people

Use synonyms

start living away from their familiar surroundings, they become independent, which can teach them several skills, including but not limited to managing their finances, cooking, and overcoming challenges all by themselves. These help

people

Use synonyms

to become more well-rounded. Another positive is that

people

Use synonyms

can improve their standard of living.

For instance

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, salaries offered in foreign countries are usually markedly higher than those in

people

Use synonyms

’s own country.

As a result

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, they can not only meet their basic needs for food and shelter but

also

Linking Words

save money to support their family members. In conclusion,

although

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there are some disadvantages to moving away from family and friends for work, they are not as significant as the advantages.

Nov 21, 2024

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task achievement

Try to further develop the examples and explanations to ensure they fully support your main ideas.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to clearly differentiate parts of your essay to enhance logical flow and coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, setting a strong start and end to your arguments.

task achievement

There is a good balance of advantages and disadvantages discussed, indicating a complete response to the essay topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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