IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Is it wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young experience less individuals?To what extent you agree or disagree

#industry #workers #individuals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some industries think it is a wise decision to replace their old workers or experienced ones with young struggling and fewer individuals are a wise decision. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement to some extent since fresh minds come up with new and fresh practices and help the management to withstand the competitive market. On the one hand, if we talk about age employees with a lot of experience in their field are definitely loyal and beneficial for the organisation's growth.
Although
Linking Words
 they always took the responsibility for any unpredicted problem and have depth knowledge to deal with that yet they follow their traditional strategies and methods to answer the issue
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and do not wish to follow the new era methods since they those come out of their comfort zone which might affect the community growth at a certain scale. Other the other hand, we cannot deny the fact learning from them is surely very beneficial in future aspects for the new generation since they possess more life experience and social values. But, as we all know we can not grow until we move out of our comfort zone and take on new challenges.
For instance
Linking Words
, young individuals come up with different approaches for the same problem which is inclusive of new challenges.
This
Linking Words
 will certainly take time to investigate and work on new approaches but
also
Linking Words
 help the organisation to develop new skills and withstand the competitors and fast market pace. To recapitulate
this
Linking Words
, since old employees are more loyal to the organisation and do not follow the switching trend but they work on the same scale technique which may create a lag for
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
management to withstand. While the young and less know-how have eager to learn and work in new challenging situations which helps the community to accommodate fresh changes and helps the management to grow.
Submitted by sakshijain1208 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: