Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are numerous arguments for and against whether

retirees

Use synonyms

should take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsibility

Change preposition

for

show examples

themselves or should it be the

Use synonyms

government

Change noun form

government's

show examples

responsibility to

financial

Replace the word

financially

show examples

support

Use synonyms

them. In my opinion, though self-care promotes a culture of saving, it is

Use synonyms

government’s

Correct article usage

the government’s

show examples

duty

Use synonyms

to ensure part of their welfare and health with financial

support

Use synonyms

. People who are opposed to

government

Use synonyms

financial

support

Use synonyms

are of the opinion that, the culture of saving rather than depending on the

government

Use synonyms

may boost the overall economic development of a country.

In other words

Linking Words

, if people were to accumulate their savings for their pension age, it would lessen the financial burden on the

government

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and as

show examples

a result, the

government

Use synonyms

would be able to plan more funds for more productive purposes

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

development

Correct article usage

the development

show examples

of infrastructure, industries, hospitals, and so on, which might expedite the overall enhancement of a country.

Although

Linking Words

I recognize the legitimate merits

Change preposition

show examples

the argument above, I would generally side with those who believe the

government

Use synonyms

should allocate part of its budget as a repayment to

financial

Add an article

the financial

show examples

support

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

retirees

Use synonyms

in order to provide welfare and comfort. As

retirees

Use synonyms

age, those suffering from various

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

including, Parkinson, diabetes and osteoporosis, become

more needy

Replace the words

needier

show examples

of monthly

checkup

Fix the agreement mistake

checkups

show examples

. If their health is taken into consideration, the

government

Use synonyms

should provide them

Change preposition

with more

show examples

comprehensive financing assistance, like health insurance, cheaper loans and expenses of care and nursing.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, it is said that all individuals are paying taxes for years because of their civic

duty

Use synonyms

and

Linking Words

contrast

Add a comma

,contrast

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

government

Use synonyms

duty

Use synonyms

is included giving financial

support

Use synonyms

when needed especially after retirement. In

conclusion

Add a comma

, conclusion

show examples

although

Linking Words

some believe that it is

retirees

Use synonyms

’

duty

Use synonyms

to take care of themselves, others think

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should

shoulders

Change the verb form

shoulder

show examples

the responsibility of retirement finance. It is predicted that in the future, due to financial fluctuations in the economy, the

government

Use synonyms

will not be able to allocate a significant amount of money to

retirees

Use synonyms

kazemifatemeh4

Dec 21, 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement
financial support
social responsibility
comfortable and secure
reduces poverty
safety net
limited resources
fairness and equality
personal responsibility
independence
financial planning
saving
burden on the government
control over retirement
economic growth
private investment
combination of approaches

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Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovating the old ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvanatges? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience and knowledge.

Older generations often hold some traditional ideas on the correct way of life, though and behavior. Most people argue that these are not helpful for younger generations to prepare for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree?

Students from poor background such as rural areas often find it difficult to access to university education, so people think universities should make it especially easy for them to study at. To what extent do you agree or disagree?