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Writing Samples
Band 6

In developing countries, some people think the government should introduce new technology to people in order to improve quality of life, while others believe governments should offer free education.

#countries #people #government #technology #quality #life #governments #offer #education
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The legitimate institution plays a dispensable role in improving social welfare. A tough decision made by them is to introduce new technology to the
community
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 or
improved
Wrong verb form
improve
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education
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. In my view,
education
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 is obviously a holistic method for improving quality of life and could promote a resilient
society
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.
This
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 essay attempts to evaluate the two proposals and discuss the possibility of implementing a combination of the two methods. If populations are more available to new
technologies
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, they would benefit from their usage of them in variable areas. If the authority is willing to invest and adopt new machinery which is helpful for renewable energy, the
community
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 will have a less energy budget and national energy security will be safeguarded. It avoids power rationing which halts production and causes blackouts. To be more specific, new machinery can be regarded as underground which takes place of buses to become the main model of travel for the nation. It is proved to be a more efficient way because the number of traffic congestion and the time which the
community
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 spend on transportation is reduced.
However
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, new machinery does not always come with positive impacts but sometimes has a negative influence on the nation. E-cigarette promotion is putting more
people
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 into unhealthy habits.
Therefore
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, it’s unwise for the ministry to promote all kinds of new
technologies
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. Some of them should be banned. Promoting the
education
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 system is a holistic way to make a bright life more achievable for
citizens
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.
Education
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 not only equips
people
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 with the necessary knowledge and skills but
also
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 conveys
people
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's morality. In middle school and high school, students are taught scientific knowledge to build up their worldview. Apart from scientific subjects, students receive information about laws and politics. They learn about the structure of
society
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 and their individual legal responsibility and right.
People
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 who are well-
education
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 are well-prepared for their future careers and act as responsible individuals in
society
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.
Therefore
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, if the ministry’s intervention could make
education
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 more affordable and improved for its
citizens
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, it will help build up a resilient
community
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 in which the population could achieve their goals and be satisfied with their lives. Compared to new
technologies
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, the government would endure a long-term expenditure on investment for
education
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.
However
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, hard work pays off. Well-educated individuals are not only prepared for well-paying jobs, but they are
also
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 able to cope with changes. When the state undergoes change and growth, it relies on its
citizens
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 to adapt to new opportunities.
In other words
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, the state relies on the existence of a pool of civilized
citizens
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 to lead the development. To sum up, in the pursuit of long-term sustainable development, the government should adopt the strategy of developing
education
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. Both individuals and the entire
society
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 would benefit a lot from improved
education
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.
Although
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 the promotion of new
technologies
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 might somehow exert negative impacts, a combination of two methods would have double effects on improving the lives of
people
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.
Submitted by jiangchenxi789 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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