IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many countries, people increasingly talk about money ( How much they earn or how much they paid for things in their daily conservations. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development

#countries #people #money #conservations #development
In
this
 day and age, there is no denying that we are living in an economic growth period. There are many fluctuations related to
money
 problems s and many
people
 believe that they tend to talk more about
money
 . From my point of view, I think it brings both a positive and negative development It is universally accepted that
money
 plays a substantial role in our lives and we can’t live without it.
Money
 is a measure that will judge the value of one person. There is a fact that
people
 who earn a lot of
money
 can achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility.
People
 with wealth and stories always stand in high positions in society.
Therefore
, when someone talks about the
money
 in their conservations as how much they earn or how much they paid for things,… it means that they are flexing and having sustainable confidence in their income.
Moreover
, when they have
money
-related conservations with other
people
, they can
also
 learn more about their finances or useful lessons related to
money
.
In addition
, when they engage in knowledge exchanges related to
money
 matters, they will have motivated to develop
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a higher level of income.
On the other hand
, there
also
 have some negative consequences related to
this
 statement. To the best of my knowledge, there still have many
people
 who actually don’t interest in talking about
money
. They want to keep it secret for them, everyone has their privacy and. of course they won't tell anyone about it. Particularly
people
 who always flex about their income will make those around them feel uncomfortable and have a bad impression in these boasts and brag
people
. To sum up, these problems have pros and cons. Talking about
money
 in daily conservations is very necessary for today’s economic development but
people
 should mention it
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
moderately.
Submitted by helenlpk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: