IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write a letter to the restaurant's manager. In your letter, Explain that you would like to apply for the job. Give some details of any relevent experience that you have. specify days and times that would suit you.

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to apply for the waiter server position in your company. My name is Aji, and I would like to apply
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 position
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct your spelling
of
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 waiter in your Restaurant, I
came
Add the particle
came to
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 know
this
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 information about the
occopation
Correct your spelling
occasion
 from the website, I read fully the information on my phone and
then
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 I feel exiting
with
Change preposition
about
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 your
Coffeeshop
Correct your spelling
coffee shop
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.
Besides
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, I
was graduation
Wrong verb form
graduated
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 from my university
that
Correct word choice
and
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 my major is tourism.
Farthermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, It is
perfect
Add an article
the perfect
a perfect
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 position for me
being
Change the verb form
to be
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waiter
Add an article
a waiter
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 or handle guests in front of your Restaurant. As mentioned in the requirement, I believe that I am eligible to work
under
Change preposition
at
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 your Hotel. Alongside, I have experience
become
Change preposition
as become
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waiters
Fix the agreement mistake
waiter
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 in one of the famous Villa in Gili Trawangan for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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two years.
That is
Linking Words
 why, I can be able to join
with
Change preposition
apply
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your staff at your cafe. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
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, I have skills
such
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 as
speak
Wrong verb form
speaking
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 English so I can blether with
foregn
Correct your spelling
foreign
.
For example
Linking Words
, explain
them
Change preposition
to them
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 the menu or tell the guests the story of your company because it is crucial for
keep
Change the form of the verb
keeping
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 the good name
your
Change preposition
of your
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 firm. I am available for the next weeks because I am going to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
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 Bali island
for
Change preposition
to
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 take my document at my Campus. Please let me know if you need more details. I look forward to your prompt reply, Yours sincerely, Aji

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to begin with a proper greeting, like 'Dear Manager,' and a clear closing like 'Thank you.'
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clear and simple sentences. Some sentences are a bit long and hard to follow.
task achievement
Make your experience and skills clearer, explaining how they relate to the job.
task achievement
Check your grammar and spelling to improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You explained your experience as a waiter clearly, which is a strong point.
task achievement
You showed enthusiasm for the job, which is great to see.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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