IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many countries today are experiencing high levels of migration from rural areas to cities. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it have on the existing city dwellers?

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people
Use synonyms
 from the countryside moving to large cities are not rare in the modern world.
This
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 prevalent phenomenon may lead to a lot of consequences.
As a result
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, these effects are now existing in urban areas. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss it clearly.
To begin
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 with, there is one main reason causing the trend of migration to cities,
that is
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 a large opportunity of looking for a job there.
As a result
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, because of
this
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 reason, there are so many
people
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 choosing to go away from their hometown to settle in a
city
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 with the hope of getting a better job and a higher salary.
In addition
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 to money, owing to the lack of good universities and facilities in rural areas,
hence
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, students are
also
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 one of the major
people
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 who want to live in metropolitan areas, cite an example, there are roughly more than 5,000 students from other provinces applying to urban universities. So, most reasons come from the long for opportunities to have a better life.
Then
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,
this
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 phenomenon
also
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 brings along many present effects on the life of the
city
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. First and foremost is the lack of accommodation,
while
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 there are so many
people
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 living in the same place, the demand for a living place becomes larger,
then
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 the price will go up, and
as a consequence
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, it gradually becomes unaffordable for most
people
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. Not only accommodation be affected, but
also
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 facilities be influent, with a quite thick density of citizens, roads, hospitals, and schools can not
fulfill
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fulfil
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 all the
city
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,
for instance
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, in my country, roads in large cities usually have to encounter traffic jams in rush hours, have to wait in
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
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, or struggle to occupy a space in school which all stem from a large demand of migration. In conclusion,
Due to
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 the hope of getting rid of being poor, there are so many
people
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 looking for jobs or opportunities for promotion in their careers. So, nowadays
city
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 dwellers have to face a lot of difficulties
such
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 as the lack of accommodation or facilities that can not
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
 all demands.

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Introduction
Provide a clear introduction that outlines the essay's structure to guide the reader.
Conclusion
Make sure your concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the essay without introducing new ideas.
Coherence
Use a variety of sentence structures and transitions to connect ideas and paragraphs more smoothly.
Examples
Include more specific examples to support your points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Content
Identified the significant cause and effects of urban migration effectively.
Discussion
Good effort in discussing both causes and effects related to the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • rural depopulation
  • economic opportunities
  • infrastructure
  • livelihoods
  • overpopulation
  • cultural integration
  • affordability
  • public services
  • housing prices
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • cultural diversity
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • basic services
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