Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
modern time ,
money
plays an essential role in everyone's
life
.
However
, there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
who opine that giving
money
to teenagers is
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
choice rather than gifts , whereas others deem that
this
may have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
effect on them . I strongly believe that both notions are equally important and have significant justifications in support. On the one hand , the number of people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
giving
money
as a gift the reason behind
this
seems to be providing an opportunity to young ones to pursue their hobby .
In addition
to
this
, if someone likes to read books and he or she wants to buy more , so gifted
money
will assist to purchase
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the best benefit of giving some amount is that youngsters can learn how to use
money
wisely .
This
will help them in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
future because they have to invest
money
in certain things with proper management .
For instance
, if they want to take
life
insurance
then
the experience of teen age may play a significant role because they have the amount in their mind which needs to be invested . These things can be learned if they have
money
to use in their earlier stage of
life
.
On the other hand
, many young people found
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
celebrities who spend
money
on smoking and drugs , so it may have
detrimental
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a detrimental
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effect on
teenagers
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teenagers'
teenager's
show examples
life
because they want to do things that famous people do . Meanwhile ,
this
can make their parent's
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
hard and put innocent
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
in danger.
Moreover
, gambling is the other problem which can be seen often in youngsters as per the media reports . To
recapiulate
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
, I reckon both the perspectives have equal weightage
are
Correct word choice
and are
show examples
supported by me
equivavelntly
Correct your spelling
equivalently
. if
money
is given to young ones
then
it is
Add an article
the parents
a parents
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
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responsibility to take care of them , but in
such
cases , teenagers tell
lie
Correct subject-verb agreement
lies
show examples
to their guardians .
This
proves that both claims have
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
potential.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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