In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the

last

Linking Words

few decades, there

Wrong verb form

has been

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an increasing trend, where

countries

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try to replicate famous sceneries from foreign

countries

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in their own backyard. It is mainly attributed to the increased surge in globalization, which facilitates the exchange of cultural, economic & technological ideas across borders.

This

Linking Words

leads to standardized planning, architecture, retail outlets & even theme parks, which are more monotonous wherever we travel.

Moreover

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, with the increased social media popularity, people get easily influenced by other

Use synonyms

countries

Change noun form

countries'

country's

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food, fashion & entertainment, which results in many multinational companies establishing their chain of restaurants, hotels & stores, resulting in the acceleration of abroad places in their

country

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itself. These homogenous places across the globe offer both

advantages

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& disadvantages.

Firstly

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, from an

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advantages

Replace the word

advantageous

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perspective, it helps citizens to enjoy the best of other cultures in their own backyard.

Hence

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, they get to experience the foreign

country

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's finest, by visiting their own local places, which results in huge savings.

For instance

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, if one has to savour the finest Italian dining, rather than travelling to Italy, they could just visit their local Italian restaurant chain in their own city.

Secondly

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, it

also

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avoids the sense of homesickness for travellers when they travel abroad, as all the foreign amenities are available in their own place.

On the other hand

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, these monotonous sceneries result in the decline of their own cultural identity. When foreign cultures get amalgamated with the local cultures, there is an increased risk over time, their

countries

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own heritage & identity would disappear slowly.

For example

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due to

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the increased globalization in

countries

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like India, the current generation of folks

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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lost touch with their heritage and started following Western dreams.

In addition

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this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

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tourism markets get impacted as well because foreign travellers tend to avoid the famous local neighbourhood if they think it's quite similar to what they have in their own yard. So

to conclude

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, in my opinion, though creating sceneries similar across the world has both

advantages

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& disadvantages, I personally feel that the disadvantages outweigh the

advantages

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, as it can result in the decline of the

country

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's own cherished heritage & culture, which can be quite difficult to recover once it's lost.

nusramkumarSun May 05 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Great job on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Continue to enhance your essay's logical flow with varied transitional phrases.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure all paragraphs support your main argument and consistently link back to the essay question for better coherence.

Task Achievement

You've effectively addressed the essay topic and presented a balanced view. To further improve, provide even more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

Task Achievement

While your essay provides comprehensive discussion, refining your ideas for more depth and nuanced arguments can further enhance task achievement.

Structure

Effective use of introduction and conclusion to frame your essay.

Content

Balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages.

Logic

Clear argument structure, making your position and reasoning easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

367 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

globalization
urban planning
homogenous
social media
global culture
cultural diversity
multinational corporations
local identities
homesickness
global unity
cultural heritage
tourism industry

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In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than that only locally made. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

With growing number of populations in cities, many people are living in small homes that don't have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development.

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?