IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

To start with, the
population
Use synonyms
 has been expressing unimaginable importance for
countries
Use synonyms
 and civilizations from past to present. Nowadays, the
population
Use synonyms
 features of
countries
Use synonyms
 differ in various issues. The
population
Use synonyms
 of some
countries
Use synonyms
 contains a relatively large
number
Use synonyms
 of young individuals, compared with the
number
Use synonyms
 of older
people
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, there are many reasons why having a more young
population
Use synonyms
 than elderly
people
Use synonyms
 in a
country
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the most significant advantage of numerous young adults is that it creates a major force for the economy. Many different companies and businesses recently establish thanks to the technology world
that is
Linking Words
 constantly developing.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these workplaces need a lot of employees in order to continue manufacturing.
For example
Linking Words
, older
people
Use synonyms
 cannot contribute necessary workforce.
That is
Linking Words
 why the young
population
Use synonyms
 provides to meet the workforce that the
country
Use synonyms
 needs.
Secondly
Linking Words
, another pivotal utility of the young
population
Use synonyms
 is that it helps
countries
Use synonyms
 to determine good
country
Use synonyms
 policies. One
country
Use synonyms
 pays attention to many reports while doing plans for the future of the
country
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the young have indispensable significance for a
country
Use synonyms
's
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
 but if the state does not have a sufficient young
population
Use synonyms
, it constitutes different
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
 tactics.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
country
Use synonyms
 has to separate a certain budget for the needs of older
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 situation changes investment projects. To sum up, whether having a large
number
Use synonyms
 of young adults, compared with the
number
Use synonyms
 of other
people
Use synonyms
 is beneficial or not is a debatable matter.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, ı am inclined to believe that a large
number
Use synonyms
 of young
people
Use synonyms
 has a big opportunity for
countries
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: