In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

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A skyrocketing establishment of supermarkets and shopping centres is proven to lead local markets to the verge of bankruptcy.

This

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essay will discuss how the giant shopping retails overpower the local shops and why I disapprove of

this

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phenomenon.

Firstly

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, department stores mostly have a massive marketing strategy, which can even cover a whole region either via televisions or billboards and

this

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means local businesses stand no chance of competing with those giant trademarks. Take Walmart,

for instance

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, its huge promotions urge people to spend their money there rather than going to obscure local markets, which significantly reduces their revenues and eventually bankrupts them.

Consequently

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this

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unfair competition is not beneficial for the economic sustainability of lower-middle business levels.

Secondly

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, local shops are the pioneers of product innovations and the existence of major trademarks hinders them from thriving.

For example

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, new product trends on social media usually start from grassroots entrepreneurs who try to promote their creations to the public, but as the audience grows larger, huge companies

then

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steal their ideas and make a massive production of similar copies.

Additionally

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, consumers will naturally pick the cheaper alternatives,

hence

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why small businesses are neglected and once again overshadowed by large companies. If

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issue continues, the creativity of local entrepreneurs will be abolished and severely reduced. In conclusion, the existence of shopping centres and supermarkets

threaten

Correct subject-verb agreement

threatens

show examples

the continuity of local business because of the overpowering marketing strategy and plagiarism.

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, I side with the people who strongly support local businesses

instead

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of large shopping centres

pink pantherSat Jan 20 2024

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task achievement

Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and includes a thesis statement that indicates your position on the development. While your introduction provides a clear position, more emphasis on the connection between the closure of local shops and consumer shopping habits at malls could strengthen it.

task achievement

Expand your discussion with more specific examples and data where possible to support your points. This adds validity to your arguments and could result in a higher band score.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay with clear paragraphs that each focus on a single idea. Use a range of cohesive devices (such as however, therefore, firstly, secondly) to structure your response coherently. The transition between your ideas is handled quite well in the essay, but more varied language could enhance it.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion should summarize the main points of your essay and restate your position clearly. Your conclusion is present and satisfactory; however, to achieve a higher band, reinforce the summarization of the key points you've discussed in relation to the prompt.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score, make sure your main ideas are not only clear but also fully developed. Consider expanding your arguments to explore both the positive and negative aspects of the situation, even if your final position aligns with one side.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retail outlets
consumer behavior
shop locally
convenience
variety
economic growth
job creation
community
personal touch
small businesses
local economy
big corporations
dependence
shopping habits
urbanization
globalization
competition

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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

You have just returned from holiday and were not satisfied with your trip.Write to the travel agency.In your letter: Say where/when you went on holiday Explain why you are not satisfied with your holiday Tell them what you would like them to do

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree

Some people say that wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others believe that they should start school at a later age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.