Some people say that museum should be free where as others opine that some entry fee should be there. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Museums
are one of the places where
people
who are curious about their
history
can go. While it is said by some
people
that
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
should be out of cost, others believe to visit them visitors have to pay. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will evaluate both viewpoints.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree with
Correct article usage
the later
show examples
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
statement. Places
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
exhibit ancient tools including
potery
Correct your spelling
pottery
poetry
and paintings are
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
useful for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
for
history
seekers. some
people
say these places should be free for everyone, because there are some
people
who are interested in
history
but they do not have enough
money
to visit them regularly, so, by eliminating
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
they are able to go to ancient
buldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
and
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
as much as they want.
In addition
, despite
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
fact that their knowledge will increase, it is beneficial for
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
nation. Because they can use their information to preserve from country's culture.
On the contrary
, a number of
people
and I believe tickets should
be remained
Change to the active voice
remain
have remained
show examples
on
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
sites even cheap tickets.
To begin
with, it is essential to remember maintaining
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the objects provided in
musuems
Correct your spelling
museums
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
a lot of
money
.
Moreover
, staff and guardians need payment, which generally
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
paid by earned
money
from selling tickets.
Secondly
, if
museums
were always free, individuals would
understimate
Correct your spelling
underestimate
the value of the historical objects preserved
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there.
Follow
Wrong verb form
Following
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up
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
, maybe they will not care about them anymore as a great source of data about
history
.
However
, some days the entry should
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not have any fee to encourage students and ordinary
people
to visit them.
For example
, in my country,
almost
Change preposition
for almost
show examples
one week per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year, all the
museums
and historical buildings are free for visitors. To sum up,
although
lake of ticket fee for
mentioned
Add an article
the mentioned
a mentioned
show examples
site can benefit
peniless
Correct your spelling
penniless
but curious
people
, protecting old and valuable products in
museums
need
money
.
Furthermore
,
as a result
,
people
care more about something when they pay
money
for it.
Submitted by amin.ranjbar77 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public engagement
  • financial sustainability
  • socioeconomic backgrounds
  • educational experiences
  • exhibits
  • new acquisitions
  • economic accessibility
  • culture and history
  • equality
  • perceived value
  • tourism
  • downstream economic benefits
  • operational costs
  • staffing
  • security
  • maintenance
  • inclusivity
  • cultural opportunities
  • special exhibits
  • resources
  • crowds
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