IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

People are living in the modern world. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #world
Humans have taken a step into the new era with plenty of modern technology and seem like the high-tech will continue to grow stronger.
However
, living with the latest generation will likely be more problems,
such
 as looser bonds in society. But the good news is it can
also
 help people to live more equally. It seems clear that modern communities have been improved better than before, as can be seen in the crowd nowadays mostly open-minded and do not judge too quickly, so there will be rarely aversion to others cause of their gender, skin colour, or sexual orientation. It will create a pattern for everyone to express their uniqueness.
For example
, black people have been treated unfairly because of their facial appearance, but now they are welcomed in many industries.
On the contrary
, over-dependence on technology can become a critical problem since people are offered a higher quality of life. As much as an automation product could be easily accessible to many, there is a high chance that humans might rely on it heavily.
Thus
, we might start to be unable to work independently of technological applications, giving rise to a lack of connection between communities. To illustrate
this
, some research has pointed out that our bond with family members has become more indirect. To conclude, living in a modern world is fantastic because of the equality and how convenient it is,
nevertheless
, there are still some issues we need to keep an eye on.
Submitted by workwithmanh1989 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalization
  • technological advancements
  • collective action
  • digital evolution
  • minimal reliance
  • direct interaction
  • empowered
  • access to technology
  • societal expectations
  • personal choice
  • leverage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: