IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT WE SHOULD INVEST MORE MONEY IN CLASSROOM TECHNOLOGY AND EQUIPMENT. OTHERS ARGUE THAT WE SHOULD SPEND THIS MONEY ON TEACHERS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

#people #money #classroom #technology #equipment #teachers
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In
this
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 contemporary era, there is an argument in school, some people think that individuals should invest the most money in improving technology and equipment in the classroom,
while
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 others say that it should
spend
Wrong verb form
be spent
show examples
 on
teachers
Use synonyms
. I will explain both views and give my opinion in the conclusion. On the one hand, spending money on
teachers
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 would help to improve
students
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 in their academic studies. To
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
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, instructors provide the base to
students
Use synonyms
. Pupils learn basic theories from tutors and solve doubts. Because of
this
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 public
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
 that
schools
Use synonyms
 should bring expert and experienced tutors so they help
students
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.
For instance
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, in the past
teachers
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 were the first priority in
schools
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 to increase the grades of
students
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 and
gave
Wrong verb form
give
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 them a high-quality education.
Lastly
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, instructors are the base of the
schools
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 and expert
teachers
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 improve
students
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.
On the other hand
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, if
students
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 have advanced technology and equipment they can easily understand the concept of theories.
Moreover
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, devices like laptops and projectors make studies less complex to understand.
In addition
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, in times of the
,
Remove the comma
apply
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pandemic people attend
schools
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 on mobiles and laptops via video calls where
teachers
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 give detailed explanations in animation.
For example
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, in 2021 because of the lockdown
schools
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 and colleges were closed and all studies happened on laptops and computers through video calls.
Lastly
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, technology
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 understand theories with a digital concept. In conclusion, in my ,opinion
teachers
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 are the ones who teach and give knowledge to
students
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. Even on online ,platforms
teachers
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 are the ones who teach pupils
therefore
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schools
Use synonyms
 and the public should invest money in tutors who have experience and knowledge.
Submitted by rahulgpatel19 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Provide a clear and comprehensive response to all aspects of the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence and cohesion by using transition words and phrases to connect ideas and maintain logical flow. Organize the essay with clear paragraph structures, including topic sentences and supporting details.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Classroom technology
  • Interactive whiteboards
  • Tablets
  • Educational software
  • Online resources
  • Learning styles
  • Inclusive learning
  • Personalized education
  • Dependency
  • Mental arithmetic
  • Salaries
  • Training programs
  • Professional development
  • Retain
  • Skilled educators
  • Inspire
  • Motivate
  • Guide
  • Balanced approach
  • Educational ecosystem
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