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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It has been suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no gainsaying the fact that
animals
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 and
plants
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 play a vital role in our environment. Some people suggest that primary school
children
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 should learn how to grow
plants
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 and take care of
animals
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. I believe the advantages of
this
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 outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, one of the most plausible reasons is that it teaches responsibility and caring values. If
children
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 are trained in gardening and caring for
animals
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 from primary school, they will become more responsible and well-behaved in the future. When they get more engaged in these activities, they develop discipline and a helpful attitude.
For instance
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, when a child waters a plant daily and sees it grow, he understands that consistent care leads to a positive result.
Moreover
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,
children
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 feel more connected to the environment by involving themselves in
such
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 tasks. When toddlers become more engaged with
animals
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 and
plants
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 on a daily basis, why do they not feel a connection with nature?
On the other hand
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, there are a few drawbacks to educating
children
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 in these areas. Doing these tasks daily might distract them from their academic responsibilities, possibly leading to poor performance.
As a result
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, their interest in higher education could decrease, and they may struggle in their future career. In conclusion,
while
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 there are some disadvantages to teaching young
children
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 how to grow
plants
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 and care for
animals
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, I believe the advantages far outweigh them.

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task achievement
Make sure to give a bit more detail in your disadvantages to balance your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words more often to help your writing flow better.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent.
task achievement
Your ideas about responsibility and connection to nature are strong and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary children
  • grow vegetables
  • keep animals
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills development
  • environmental awareness
  • health benefits
  • instilling responsibility
  • learning about food production
  • time commitment
  • maintenance costs
  • safety concerns
  • curriculum constraints
  • limited resources
What to do next:
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