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Band 6.5

Some people say that educational success depends almost entirely on the attitude of the student. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #success #attitude #student
A common opinion is that a
student
's
attitude
 to studying is the most important factor in their educational
success
. In my opinion,
while
 the
student
's
attitude
 is significant, another crucial area is the
quality
 of teaching they receive.
Firstly
, the
attitude
 of the
student
 has a big impact on their educational
success
.
This
 is true both in and out of the classroom. A successful
student
 not only pays attention and listens to the
teacher
 during class time, but
also
 spends time researching and reviewing the topics before and after class. They can
also
 show their
attitude
 by being willing to accept feedback from the
teacher
 and improve their own performance.
For instance
, a 2014 study by the University of Pennsylvania found that university
students
 who both previewed and reviewed the class material every week performed 40% better in the final exam compared to
students
 who didn't preview or review.
Although
 it is true that a
student
's
attitude
 to learning is very important, it is not the only factor in achieving educational
success
.
Secondly
, another key factor in the educational attainment of a
student
 is the
quality
 of teaching they receive. The ability of a
teacher
 to explain difficult concepts can be the difference between a
student
 understanding a topic and passing a test, and a
student
 misunderstanding the same topic and failing. Teachers can
also
 inspire their
students
 to work harder through their strong personalities or by making them feel special. A
student
 who feels like their
teacher
 doesn't care about them is less likely to do extra work than a
student
 whose
teacher
 takes a personal interest in them.
For example
, in my high school,
students
 who took classes with caring teachers who explained things clearly usually got high scores on their exams.
In contrast
, many of my friends failed subjects taught by lower-
quality
 teachers.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
 the
quality
 of teaching is
also
 an important part of educational
success
. In conclusion, a
student
's
attitude
 to learning and the
quality
 of teaching he or she receives are both very important parts of their chances of achieving their educational goals.
Submitted by amaadgagroo on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all points are expanded with supporting examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid redundant or repetitive sentences to maintain reader's interest.
task achievement
Discuss more perspectives to provide a comprehensive view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid framework for the argument.
task achievement
The use of specific examples strengthens the argument and provides clarity.
task achievement
The main points are clearly related to the question and are well supported.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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