IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say smacking children is the best way to discipline them. To what extent you agree with this?

#people #children #discipline
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some communities, punishing the youngest members of a family is known to be an excellent method of teaching them how to behave. In my opinion, the act of punishment is sometimes useless and may cause severe psychological problems for them. Four or five decades ago, parents tend to hit their
children
Use synonyms
 after they had done something wrong, so they can learn how to behave in a good
manner
Use synonyms
. There was some research in the United States of America that has been done on some
children
Use synonyms
 who have been physically punished. The result was shocking, the level of melatonin produced in their body decreased and they didn't have enough self-confidence. Nowadays, thanks to social media and some other educational programs, parents are well aware of the effects of hitting and smacking
children
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 they know that it is not a good way to teach them a good
manner
Use synonyms
. Despite
this
Linking Words
, fathers and mothers prefer to teach their youngsters good behaviour and good
manner
Use synonyms
 through some educational and psychological processes.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the safety of the process, they are completely sure about their
children
Use synonyms
's future mental health.
For instance
Linking Words
, I myself ask a consultant to help with my daughter's misbehaviours, and she is doing well. To sum up, hitting youngsters to help them learn how to behave is no more acceptable. And fathers and mothers tend to teach them a good
manner
Use synonyms
 through consultants.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: