Environmental issues have always been an international problem because governments are not imposing harsh punishments against offender? To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Environmental problems are not only a local issue because every ecosystem is interconnected. The degradation in a tropical forest can affect the climate in other parts of the Earth. The pollution of rivers and oceans can bring harmful consequences to either close or far away countries. So, I agree that when local governments are not applying harsh fee penalties against offenders, it can be an international subject.
Governments must struggle to prevent environmental degradation.
Overall
, there are two ways to do this
. The first manner is through education and persuasion. When education and persuasion do not work, the authorities must use punitive measures. However
, some nations have difficulties to apply harsh punishments, especially in multinational and rich companies. A current example occurred in Brazil, some years ago, in a small town called Brumadinho, where a big enterprise in the metallurgic area, called Vale, was responsible for an environmental accident. A rupture of the dam caused the spreading of mining waste into the town, killing more than two hundred people. The government imposed a millionaire fee penalty, but the company only paid part of the fine and compensation and it is still arguing in court.
I believe that the most efficient way to avoid this
type of disaster, besides
the fine by the local government, can be commercial restrictions by other companies, whether local or international suppliers and customers.
In conclusion, harsh punishment can serve as a preventive measure for potential offenders, but only international cooperation can effectively manage environmental issues. Furthermore
, education and public opinion are important to change the harmful behaviour of companies that only see profits.Submitted by fmulato on
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coherence cohesion
While the logical structure is generally clear, you should ensure there is a more explicit progression of ideas throughout the essay. Think about starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and follow it with supporting sentences that develop the initial idea.
coherence cohesion
An effective introduction and conclusion are present, but strengthening the thesis statement and the concluding thoughts would enhance their impact. Work on restating your position in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is developed with sufficient evidence and examples. Some of your examples lack depth. Make sure to elaborate and discuss the implications or outcomes of these examples further.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided your viewpoint, but you may want to ensure that your argument covers all aspects of the topic more fully, including counterarguments and broader impacts.
task achievement
You've presented your ideas clearly for the most part but consider adding linking phrases between them for better flow and comprehension.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is good but to get a higher score, offering more detailed explanations and exploring the examples in greater depth would be advantageous.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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